#like it's kinda weird to phrase it like this but she got her happy ending

[iconicname]

The same goes for anya x curly too it may seem cute, but curly was essentially a boy mom with Jimmy as the "boy." Honestly, I think at most anya and curly could be tentatively reconciled friends post fix-it ending or whatever which would take a lot of work on curly's part and giving a lot of forgiveness (If shes willing ofc) on anya's part.

obviously, do what you want i could literally not care less what yall do i just wish fandoms were less shipping-oriented sometimes :/

weird accidental character analysis/rant below

Look, I too, am not immune to the 'oh, curly's kinda cute' thing people have going on. I get it, but I don't want to be blinded by it.

I think people forget that pre-crash curly was a miserable and incompetent guy who stuck around and kept jimmy around for a reason, (while yeah the birthday scene made it clear that he's a nice enough person that pre-crash crew generally had a good opinion of him and he may seem better when side by side with someone like jimmy but that man is nowhere near the picture of a "well-rounded man)

The reason doesn't have to be deliberate or anything like that, it could be that Curly silently never grew out of the dismissal of SA/the female experience mentality which allowed someone like Jimmy to be his close friend for so long. or, in his own words he preferred looking at the bigger picture but because he was so focused on Jimmy's wellbeing (y'know immediately rushing to fucking Jimmy to assure him that everything was going to be okay after ANYA confessed to being pregnant and said that she fears jimmy enough to hide a gun from him that if it were not for the fact that curly would not allow it she would have used to the gun to protect herself. in that scene, it clearly shows that Curly prioritized Jimmy's well-being but also his feelings over Anya's even if if he didn't realize it. to Curly Jimmy was the bigger picture.

Jimmy is clearly not above abusing people he considers his "friends" especially someone who was catering to him to that degree, i.e the birthday cake scene ("both" of them) and the multiple medicine-taking scenes, etc so over the years of knowing jimmy, Curly could have subconsciously internalized Jimmy's sexist way of thinking, as to not create conflict (which is not an excuse) plus someone who may not be happy might cling to the people and disregard red flags in fear of isolation/losing something they consider positive (still not an excuse).

I don't think Curly didn't care for Anya or the rest of the crew, for that matter, but because he focused on catering to Jimmy, he hurt the people Jimmy hurt.

I like to think that Anya and Curly were very similar early days post-crash not just in the "victim to the same piece of shit" kind of way but that they both had the "thinking the best of bad people out of a sense of self-preservation". One of Anya's iconic phrases "Our worst moments don't make us monsters", I like to think that's in character for Curly to adopt that phrase as well for jimmy out of some hopeful delusion and or lasting affection for Jimmy (plus he was definitely delirious and in pain 24/7 mans not going to thinking clearly), especially since Anya and Curly were often together post-crash. but when Anya reaches her breaking point and ends her life it's Curly's breaking point too because it finally fully clicked how horrible Jimmy really was, as a co-worker, friend, and person. and that's why when Jimmy unlocked the gun case, we got the chilling, sardonic, and scorful laugh.

Ya'll have got to stop shipping Curly with Jimmy. That man is a rapist. He doesn't deserve the Yaoi fantasies.

[lululeighsworld]

i really do be thinking about this moment from the end of s2 where hannah curls up with claude's corpse a completely unhealthy amount

[lonelywolfinthemiddleofnowhere]

Reading TLH again #4 - the tragedy of Jason/Piper

So we shall begin Piper McLean's character arc!

We had 2 chapters of Jason and in the third, Piper takes the reels of the narrative and we get to know her more inwardly.

I would like to begin this meta stating how Piper, from the three new demigods, are the most calm one.

While Jason is sort of used to this magical world, he feels confused and, because he is a logical person, feels the need to question everything, even if, deeply inside, he already knows the answers to his questions.

Leo is, apparently, excited by the new world he got into. He is curious and not afraid of new things, so he seems happy and satisfied in securing a place for himself in that strange magical camp.

So: Jason is still confused (this phrase is getting repetitive, but this is basically Jason's mental state through the whole book), Leo is excited and Piper is...feeling dreadful, but weirdly accepting.

It made me remember how Piper is actually a really cool-headed character. She doesn't freak out much. From what I remember, she usually keeps her worries and fears for herself, which makes a lot of room for misunderstandings and omission (one of the things that annoyed me about her in my first read).

Interesting observation #1: Piper is in love with Jason

She seems to be deeply in love with him, which is really sad since we already know he was an illusion. Their relationship starts pretty badly because of these manufactured feelings she has for an idea of him.

She is disturbed by the fact that he acts like he doesn't know her. It is, in her view, the most worrying thing that happened in the day.

This is sick u guys, I feel bad for them.

Another thing that made me think about their situation: Piper was the one actively seeking Jason's attention before they met.

Even in her fantasy, she is the one doing the groundwork. It makes Jason appear as a dense boy lol (spoiler: he kinda of is).

And then she tells us that their "relationship" is new. She spent a whole semester working on it before they got together. For her, they were best friends before being lovers. She has been hallucinating with Jason for at least 6 months now.

She can already feel Jason slipping through her fingers like sand. He is escaping her, going far away, somewhere she can't follow. Except she never really had him. He was never hers for her to lose, so what, exactly, is she losing then? Or rather, who?

Their beginning is a tragedy (and so is their ending), but is so much more sad reading their circumstance through Piper's emotional point of view. She feels like she owns him something, and that he owns her something in return. They were supposed to be a pair.

Another thing I would like to comment: Jason has a powerful aura, but if you look closer, he also gives sad vibes. He is a sad character. If Percy is anger, Jason is sadness. (I will make a post especially analyzing the seven's dynamics later)

Interesting observation #2: Annabeth's suspicious already

Annabeth's first feeling towards Jason is ressentiment, like we saw previously.

Here, her ressentiment turns into outright distrust. She is suspicious of him and his entire demeanor is not helping. Annabeth is smart, she is the kind of character that usually doesn't have difficult into look past beyond the Gods schemes.

She knows, she feels, that Jason has something to do with Percy disappearing. The fact he screams NOT GREEK is not helping too.

Jason always has answers he is not aware and Annabeth sees he has history.

Their dynamic is super cool in MoA, seeing them in the beginning is very amusing. They are similar in a lot of things, both are great leaders for the rest of the crew in the Argo II, but here they are getting under each other's skin. Annabeth because of distrust and Jason because of wariness.

Interesting observation #3: The late claim of Leo and Piper

Does anyone else thinks about this weird timing surrounding Leo and Piper's claim?

We know Leo has history with Hera. She has been in his life since he was a kid, so I kind of buy the idea of her shielding his existence until the right time for her plan.

But Piper? From what I remember, the gods didn't meddle with her life until now, in the Wilderness School. I don't understand why Aphrodite took so long to claim her. After the war, every kid should have been brought to camp at 13, and those older should have been there already.

They both don't describe weird encounters with random monster like Percy do in TLT too, so I assume nothing out of ordinary happened in their life up till now (except the whole Leo fiasco, but that wasn't a monster, so I'm not counting).

Coach also says that they are powerful, and their scents are quite strong (not big three strong, but still), so why this timing is so off?

Anyway, I don't have an absolute answer to this, but is something that makes me wonder about things, so I brought it here. Any theories?

Interesting observation #4: Percy's disappearance being a huge thing

The entire camp feels his absence. Percy had rough years at camp, and fought a war to protect it. Everyone there recognizes him as a leader and look up to him for guidance and inspiration (like they did with Luke). This is so satisfying to see, how loved he is!

Percy is not in the book physically, but he is still everywhere. Literally haunts the narrative, I love it (i miss him)!

Interesting observation #5: Piper is fast to judge

From the very first time she lays her eyes upon Drew, she knows they aren't going to be buddies.

Drew also traces fast judgment towards Piper, so maybe is an Aphrodite kid thing, analyzing and defining people in seconds.

Right after we have a lil leader!Jason moment, where he starts asking the important questions for the three of them:

And Piper starting her betrayal arc being sketchy:

Interesting observation #5: Piper can be violent

We had already seen her ready to knock storm spirits without prompt, and now we have her ready to smack Drew's face because she said Piper's hair looked like a dead badger (this is such an Aphrodite kid thing lol)

Bonus points for Piper's quick people judgment (also a very Aphrodite kid thing to me), cause she knows right away to not mess with Annabeth:

Interesting observation #6: Leo is the first being claimed

Jason doesn't count to me cause he already is claimed, he just doesn't remember (and Zeus doesn't acknowledge him). I assume Piper is claimed later because Aphrodite loves to put up a show.

But Hephaestus is pretty efficient in claiming Leo right away. He is a very straightforward god after all, so it makes sense.

Interesting observation #7: Will is Leo's assorted tour guide, and possibly his first Camp Friend

Their interaction is so small and in the beginning of the first book of a series of 5 books that we tend to forget that, before his brothers and sister, Leo's first camp friend/acquaintance was Will Solace. Odd friendship, I know, but it was there for a chapter at least.

Interesting observation #8: Piper is still thinking of Jason as her boyfriend

Piper is getting a whiplash next chapter when Annabeth explains what is happening with Jason to her, because right now, in her head, she still has a boyfriend. A boyfriend who is acting very weirdly, but still her boyfriend.

In the next hours, she is losing him for real. Poor Piper.

And Annabeth is still finding Jason's existence unnerving. His mere presence is rising lots of questions in her head. I love how Annabeth is zero chill, the girl is always plotting or trying to dissected the plot.

Interesting observation #9: Jason has 12 years of military service. He is 15.

Man, Camp Jupiter go all out on the claiming of their kids uh? They literally burn the tattoo on your skin, marking you one of their own.

Jason has been in the legion for twelve years. At this point in the timeline he is 15 y.o. Make the calc guys, this boy has been in active duty since he was THREE YEARS OLD. Unbelievable.

No wonder why Jason has almost none rebel cells in his body. They indoctrinated him with military mentality since, like, forever. All he has always known was duty and honor. Never questioning, always serving. That is part of the reason why he is The Order and Percy is The Chaos. They are foils.

Here we have a lil moment of Jason being tired of people asking questions he doesn't know the answer to. Let ma boy rest, he is amnesic:

Kudos to Annabeth being the unquestionable Camp Leader, ultimately respected by her peers:

With this, I rest my case. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

If you like my insights follow for more!

Jason I

Jason II - Part 1

Jason II - Part 2

[xsoulxsilencex]

There is almost something funny in seeing how most people on tumblr are really upset about what Yuamu and Yuga are doing and then I check other places where people are actually happy about what's going on?

One side is angry at Yuga, hates Yuamu's decision, call it bad writing, nonsensical etc. while the other side says stuff like "girl boss Yuamu", "Go Rush is cooking/peak" and "this is what Yuamu's character needed".

Ngl, I'm somewhat in the middle:

I really wouldn't call the recent events as "peak fiction" and I still feel like this is a weird way to involve Yuamu in the arc final + potentially explaining why she's not on the season 3 poster. I don't buy her being Otes at all. At least not the one we saw in Sevens. I don't even really see what would be so great about her being Otes? Like is it only cool because a girl could potentially be the previous show's central antagonist? Also Yuamu empathising with Yuga could've been done better imo. Just saying that the ep where they landed in Goha City as cats was like the "starting point" for her feels random and not really like it was built up properly. At least to me. Also not sure how people seem to easily forget/forgive Yuamu's irrelevance over the season just for what she's doing now. The writers do nothing with her until now and suddenly she's cool again because she sides with Yuga?

But I will also say that I don't hate Yuga for doing what he does. I mean, Yuga experienced what bad shit Monster Reborn caused in his time. He doesn't want a repetition of that. And I think for us it's easy to say "well, screw the future kids, the Velgearians matter more" since they don't exist in GR. They aren't characters we saw interacting with Yudias and co. We got to know the Velgearians so their deaths hit us harder and we want them back since what happened to them was just not fair. But it's not like Yuga is happy about letting the Velgerians stay dead. He would've gladly helped reviving the Velgearians if he knew a way that doesn't involve the use of Monster Reborn. After all, why would he have helped Yudias, given him a deck and duel disk and even dueled at his side if he didn't care at all? Even Yudias and co. don't think he's just evil by doing what he does rn. And well, Yuga is just 13. A 13yo saying he will become the enemy just to save the future is kinda crazy. Yuga actually cares a lot up to the point he wants to solve everything on his own so others don't suffer/get hurt. That's how he was in Sevens too. And ngl, that annoyed me a little even back then. (Luke called him out for that once too) He means well but needs to understand that it's okay to take help. Btw: I've seen people angry at Yuga and Yuamu only caring for the kids and implying that adults are bad? Tbh, I don't think they really believe that since in both, Sevens and Go Rush, we had some adults playing Rush Duel and having fun with it. I think it's more about adults influencing the game so much up to the point it's only fun for them but not the kids anymore. So when Yuga wants dueling back in the hands of children, he probably means that they should have fun too and not just the adults. Maybe he and Yuamu could've phrased it better but I never took it as "kids are cool, adults are evil so RD should just be played by kids".

I still believe that in the end, both the future and the Velgearians can be saved so I don't feel like arguing with any side here. Both make points I can understand but I also feel like some get either over emotional or just blindly call everything awesome.

[nerendus]

There's still a few bears and hippopotamuses wandering untouched in the shadowlands, but in terms of story and main bosses, I can comfortably say I have finished the Shadow of the Erdtree DLC. And boy, do I have some thoughts.

Most of what I have to say is extremely positive, but there is of course the hippopotamus in the room--the ending of the DLC, which I discuss here and here in greater detail. Short gist is yeah, it sucked and the fact that MohgMiq (one of my favourite aspects of the base game) was a lie sucks, and fighting Radahn as the final boss sucks and would have been infinitely better if it was Godwyn instead, but I understand this is coming from the perspective of a person who has been reading into the story for two years, and GRRM probably didn't intend the story to be broken in to two parts and only be furthered explain long after the base game, and if I had played the game for the first time along with the DLC I would not be upset in the slightest.

I've made my peace with it. There's nothing to be done. I will keep the tags muted for a few weeks to just let everyone else cool off probably a lot slower since having a feed full of people complaining isn't exactly fun, especially considering how amazing the rest of the DLC is.

And...that's it for complaints. Now on to unending praises.

First, the gameplay and combat was really fun. It's baked in to be difficult, and while some players probably won't like it, I really really really enjoyed it. It took some time adjusting to, but after that, I just came to expect bosses to be difficult and had a fun time with it.

The setting was absolutely gorgeous. All of the areas just blew my mind. It's kinda embarrassing to admit, but there were multiple moments where I unintentionally started doing the pog face whenever I entered a new area. The Abyssal Forest, or as I like to call it, Louisiana, is by far my favourite area and may be my favourite out of all Fromsoft games.

I also really loved the Shaman Village. I long theorised Marika to have come from a simple background and finding that place....man I want to cry just thinking about it. Marika is my favourite character in the game, and I never stop winning when it comes to her lore.

Jagged Peak was really fucking cool. The music and skybox...mwah mwah. I loved finding the two dragons fighting each other, that was so cool to see. And Igon, my boy, his voice actor deserves a raise. What an insane performance. Bayle was an amazing boss fight, difficult--mainly because my computer couldn't keep up with him--and very satisfying to beat.

Dragon lore was also amazing. I was always confused on the idea of dragon communion if the people who worshiped the dragons were the ones eating the hearts, but it makes so sense that they only eat the hearts of lesser dragons. I loved it. I also loved the dragon priestess, I want to marry her.

I loved the look of gaols in this. They are so pretty, and it was so fun traversing through them while weird jarussy enemies attack you.

Ymir!!!!!!!!! What a freak!!!!!! I loved him and the Mother of Fingers. Fingers lore is a weird phrase to say out of context, but wow, I really loved the fingers lore in this expansion.

Messmer, my beloved, I love him so much. With the trailer, I sorta expected him to be like, a ruthless heartless freak that's losing it, but when you get to him, he just comes off as....lonely and sad. My poor boy. If he would stop attacking me, my Tarnished could have him return to the Lands Between and become their god when they achieve status of Elden Lord but noooooooo. He's very much his mother's son in level of tragedy and very very very easy to sympathise with.

I loved finding St. Trina. I missed out on their entire questline and didn't even ever find the NPC tied to them, but I got a cute flower so I'm happy. :) The game uses feminine pronouns for them, but I still feel a bit weird referring to them as she/her, especially since the base game sort of implies them to be genderfluid but Idk, maybe eventually I can convince myself to call them a she.

Midra and Nanaya are officially my favourite characters, and I don't even really know that much about them. I've come up with a pretty good baseline of what I think is their deal here, but I really want to talk about them more. I'm already outlining a fic about it, but I'd love to have other people's input on their whole story.

That's pretty much it for the big stuff.

Final rating: 10/10. I wanted initially to bring it down to a 9/10 for the ending, but the rest of the story truly is too amazing to make it any lower than 10.

But yeah, I'll start dissecting the lore in my sleep and posting about it here. And of the topics listed with great love here is open to discussion. I want to talk about the good parts this DLC because it truly was amazing, but for now....I am going to sleep.

[rodolfoparras]

Awhh is everything ok? (If you don't mind me asking) :(( and please don't push yourself to write if you're not feeling well! ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

I've had kinda bad couple of days but today has been really nice cause my best friend got her diploma and she's officially done with college and I went out for lunch with her and her family (who is honestly my family as well considering we've been friends our entire lives AND our moms are best friends too).

Also I fully get what you mean when you say that Balkan phrases (and curses tbh) just don't sound correct in English. I feel like half of the meaning and passion behind it is lost.

-🔮

Im alright my sugar it’s nothing serious sometimes I just have a dip in my mood and I kind of feel like a deflated balloon unable to write and it sucks bc I had the intent to do a part two of the fic I still do and I hope I can write it bc I was so excited for this part also dw sugar I don’t mind you asking I love being honest with why I can’t write a piece bc it relieves pressure in my head if that makes sense it’s like sorry I’m as useful as a deflated balloon but that’s how I feel atm 😭

Side not being a writer is so weird when I woke up yesterday I didn’t think I’d end up writing tht fic and today I was excited for a part that was just a vague idea in my head

Also I’m so happy you had such a lovely day and congrats to your friend!! I wish more good days are to come and if not I’ll fight the universe myslef y’all genuinely don’t deserve to ever feel down bc you all on here are such wonderful people

Right?? I used to be like blah blah old man wisdom but as I got older I was like he’s right everything can be solved in one way or another but if your health deteriorates there’s nothing u can do about it so always prioritize yourself and your health 🫶🏻

[popculturebuffet]

Top 20 Animated Episodes of 2022, Part 2: 10 to 1

Happy new year all you happy people and welcome back to my best of the year list. If your just joining us ..

YOU CAN FIND PART 1 HERE

To breifly recap for those who didn't go click that link

Now your all caught up, let's get to the list itself.

10. Who Violently Murdered Simon S. Salty? (Smiling Friends)

"And none of you are leaving until we solve this!" "You didn't need to raise your voice man"

Look i'm a sucker for restraunt based shows, humor and what not. I just love food, and love stuff set around it. I'm an easy orangutan resembling a person to please. So a fast food based mystery with a bunch of weird mascots ranging from the more understandable (A ketchup packet, a mustard packet and a drink cup), to the slightly abstract (Said drink cup being a man horrifyingly poured into it, a pile of salt and a pile of pepper) to the smilng friends of it (A pile of grease who cheerfuly wants to be included, two manic eyeballs and a century egg), and having all have various quirk (Mustard being a femme fetale who ends up taking too long with the build up, salt and pepper liking to kiss in the closet ("that that's beauitful), said cup talking WAY too loong about his doodies or whatever the fun twins were up to), it wasn't a hard sell. But the episodes still a nice break from form as the police have outsourced to our heroes so when Charlie and Pym find the head of Charlie's faviorite restraunt murdered after undergoing a menu change, it's up to them to solve it. It's just a densely packed, wondreful little joke fest, cumilating in EVERYONE having tried to kill him while no one actually didi t and our various supsepcts being free to run riot in the streets.. somehow. Pure comic magic.

9. The Circus (Helluva Boss)

"Son Cease this bitch crying"

Helluva boss had a BIT of a rough time getting to season 2: it took half the year, the intended season finale , a one off special that wasn't plot relevant was held up in some sort of legal trouble Vivinzie likely can't talk about legally, and in general it was just a headache inducing wait for the fans.

Said wait was well worth it though as we go tthe Circus an episode that gave a suprising backstory for both Blitzo and Stolas, and their relatoinship. It also gave us Jonathan Freeman, aka Goddamn Jafar as Stolas dad and got him to say Jafar's signature catch phrase"cease this bitch crying". Good times.

Said bitch crying is because as many fanas guessed, Stolas really had no choice in his relationship with Stella, and given Paimon's never had to actually.. you know get his sons to agree with more than that, he bribes him with the circus… the same one Blitzo grew up in.

I honestly didn't see the two being something resembling childhood friends coming.. well friends is pushing it, to Blitzo he's just a kid who was kinda neat and who he robbed a bit because his dad is the worst and sold him for an ultra slim condom and 5 bucks. Honestly it's hard to tell which father is worse, but it's clear his time with Blitzo is one of the only times Stolas was ever happy. Which is just sad. It also explains a lot… part of how stunted he is emotoinally.. is that he was kept in these palace wals never really allowed to grow or taught how and stuck in a loveless marriage.

Said marriage is somehow WORSE than it appeared.

Yeah really. Stella holds a still not divorced party and talks shit while he's right there. I'm mixed on this.. not on her being awful, given she's willing to scream in front of her daughter on a DAILY basis, treats Octavia more as a prop to get back at Stolas than an actual daughter, and called out a HIT on stolas, we knew she was bad. We just didn't know how abusive, selfish, or cruel she was. It shows why Stolas clings to blitzo so much: Sure they have actual chemistry.. but around him he can actually be himself and any demaning stuff.. is simply Stolas not realizing how much it hurt Blitzo to be treated like a toy. He can be himself for the first time instead of having to drink all the abysnth just to function.

We also see that Blitzo.. forgot any of that happened and in typical Blitzo fashion his plan for the grimiore was just to.. steal it and no one would eve rknow.. and gets caught almost instanlty. The only reason he's not dead is Stolas is horny for him, though we do see Blitzo's barb wired, land mined, and set on fire walls go down a sec as he plans to just abandon stolas in bondage.. only to realize Stolas really needs this and a few or so hours later

It shows the story of two deeply traumatized people who badly need each other.. but don't really know HOW to communicate that. Blitzo probably needed it as much as stolas did, he's just been hurt enough and it took seeing him vunerable to see past the rich asshole to the vunerable manchild underneath.

We also get ONE HELLLLL of a cathartic ending as after singing out his misery Stella barges in, berates stolas.. who finallys tands up to her. While his adultry isn't great and I do like that the series dosen't hide the effect the divorce has on octavia even if it's LONGGGGG needed, we get the sense that like so many failed marragies he tried. He tried to love her, he tried to make it work but it's clear any attempts at that are long past.. and given Stella tries to hit him when he declares their divorcing, damn the consequence,s he catches it. He's finally free, for whatever that costs him. And god it feels glorious. HIm breaking her things next episode helped even if the timing was fucking awful. I cannot wait ot see where this goes.

8. Whispers At the Zigguarat (The Legend of Vox Machina)

"I broke the world for us"

You heard me gush about Vox Machina plenty in part one

This was one of the two best shows of the year, and it knew how to close things out. We'll get to the second part of this finale later, as it's enough of it's own thing to warrant two slots, but after a season of well done storytelling as Percy shot his way through the list of people who wronged him, found out his sister was alive only to seemingly loose her again, and the party as a whole fought it's way through jail cells, half assed solo fancy mansions, crotch lightning duels, silver tounged Stephen Roots, and naked acid baths… it finally comes down to this. Vox Machina versus the Briarwoods and a brainwashed Cassandra and Vax, all to stop the power couple from destroying the world.

The episode is almost entirley one long fight scene, with the party nicely divided up: Pike and a silenced Scalan take on Necromancer supreme Deliliah, Percy tries to fight both his possed gun and his sister to snap her out of her possesion, Vex tries to hold off vax, Keleth tries to reawake the suntree and Grog gets his rematch with the vampiric brute with the cool sword that's TOALLY not going to be a problem in of itself next season, Silas.

The resulting fights are gorgeous and well built up: We've seen how much Vex relies on vax and thus her forced to fight to the death with him destroys her, we see Percy fight his need for vengance and growing possesion to save the only family he has left, and pike and grog's fights nicely give both payback for the party's first fight with the briarwoods: After getting utterly curbstombed in his first fight, Grog uses all his wits

Which amounted to fighting blind and using the fact Silas coudlnt enchant him to empale and suplex the fucker, then pull a raditz when Keyleth used sunburst.

While after Deliliah breaking her phalicry (and Ashley filming a tv show in the original stream), left PIke mia and nearly killed her future husband, pike got to strike back and show her just why Delilah was wise to take her out. The resutling fight is just one long brutal climax as the Brirarwoods get what they deserved and deliliah is left without her husband, her attempts to summon her god seemingly futile, with her sheer brokenness DESPITE being such a huge monster, amazingly conveyed by Grey Deleise in one of her finest voice acting roles. She was the crews first and top choice and their faith was ENTIRELY justified. She's left at the mercy of percy.. whose looking a little shadowy there buddy.. percy.. percy.. ohs hit. We'll get back to this later just.. hold on pal alright?

7. Thanks to Them (The Owl House)

"Dear diary: All I ever wanted was to be good at something, to be around people who also liked that something. And when I found the Demon Realm, I thought, 'Wow, I found it. I can learn magic. I can be a witch! I-I won't have to be the dummy in the principal's office anymore!' But I messed up too much, and put everyone in danger. Mama said I have to learn from my mistakes, so… I know what I have to do now. On Halloween, after the Hayride, I'm telling everyone I'm staying in the Human Realm. Permanently." So after a 6 or so month hiatus, the Owl House returned for the first of it's three finale movies, which hopefully won't be the last as said movie…is on the cusp of breaking FIVE MILLION views on youtube.

Yeah i'm proud and this episode easily shows why. Like the other owl house episodes I did a whole review on this but in shor tit finishes the rehabilitation of Camilla's character, both giving an in character reason for her hating conversion camp.. and ocne she has context fully accepting the isles as a part of her child;s life: she accepts her coming out with pride (As we all expected), basically adopts the kids temporarily (Except Hunter, he has a foreve rhome now), and most importantly outright walks Luz back from trying to abandon her friends and the isles. It's a story about forgiving yourself, something I struggle all too freaking often to do, and thus related to heavily. But quality wise it's just objectively good cramming at least a four or five episode arc into two episodes of special.

We also get great hunter moments, Veesha, and Belos back, which helped my only gripe about the collector: Given the entire series was set up with Belos as it's true antagonist and even the collector being free was his fault, i was worried about him being a quick boss just for this special.. and while his possesion of hunter was horrifying if smelling of

It still gave us a tense fight scenes that leaves our heroes going into the next fight with TWO villians to worry about, the fate of two worlds at stake and a dead bird corpse freshly baked into a teenager. It's… it's going to be a lot and I can't wait to see it in two weeks. As for it leaking.. yeah i'm stayin away from that so if you need me

6. The Feast of Realms (The Legend of Vox Machina)

"YOUR SOUL IS FORFEIT"

Yeah i've never seen a show go from excellent to HOLY FUCKING SHIT so fast, so soon but after a two episode pilot that set a lot up, had david tennat playing another money hoarding creature of legend, and was generally good, the next episode is where the series really stepped up it's game now everything was in place and set the arc of the season in place.

In this case our ragtag bunch of heroes have just found respectablility as the protectors of emon, a new house, and a rousing round of ball tag. Seriously the joke shoudln't work this well, much like the literal pissing contest from final space, but the combination of Vax wincing "I didn't even agree to this stupid game" despite already having a point meaning even with that he's still participating, to his later revenge sucker elbowing Grod in his balls of many sperm for a three pointer and of course scalan knowing all the ins and outs apparnetly having become referee for hsits and giggles.. it's beautiful.

The real meat though is on our heroes having to mingle with high society…. which while not going how percy planned (Scalan accuses a noble of hitting on him for shits and giggles while Pike and Grog pound wine flutes like shots, as is custom), they get infintely worse when the Briarwoods, our big bads and the ones who murdered Percy's entire family show up and send him into ptsd. He opens up and our team heads on the offensive, with Vax sneaking out to go investigate while the rest of the heroe sput their apperance in at dinner.

Naturally.. none of this goes well. Percy has an outburst after Dellilah, clearly recognizing him, gleefully blames Percy's family for their own downfall while Silas enchants the kings mind, and Vax quickly gets caputred after. While he barely survives, it leads to a massive brawl, which not only puts the already awesome dragon fight to shame.. but shows our heroes arne't quite ready yet in a way that dosen't diminish their badassery: they had no ieda what they were expecting.. and thus while they fight the briarwoods well enough, they still mostly get laid out and Deliliah taking pike out early means an easy loss with the team minus a healer and the team dropping like flies, with Delilah cheerfully telling percy to stop by any time. Grey's performance as Delilah, as I said, is one of her best and this clinches it, the way she gives the necromancer plenty of personality and charm.. while still conveying she's pure evil to be stopped.

The scene tha tclincehs this episodes spot though is a draastic turn that, due to not having done any research on the campagin at that point, something I was NOT prepared for: Percy's response is to snarl "You let them get away'". While the entire main cast and our two main villians (Including Critical Roll dm and master voice actor himself Matthew Mercer as Silas), are fucking amazing, Talisen Jaffe does the legwork as percy and I was impressed to learn later that a LOT of Percy's most cutting lines and moments in this season were entirely just Talisen improvising. His various backstory monlogues are taken from the game, as is this moment as Percy SNARLS as he confronts what's clearly an innocent coach driver the briarwood left, leaves the poor man crawling.. THEN SHOOTS OFF HIS HAND as he puts on a creepy bird mask radiating shadows, while his teamate sna the audience look on in object horror. While Percy was no nonsense before he had a noblity about him, and not just because he rich.. and seeing his tightly put together mask of civlity peel off as a combination of possesion and his own need for vengance consumes him. The chillingly calm "Your soul is forfeit!' never ceases to amaze me and it' sonly our heroes getting arrested that stops him. It's one hell of a moment that sets the stage for 9 great more episodes of television and leaves the first batch of three on one hell of a cliffhanger, all thanks to good ol No Mercy Percy.

5. Fire and Ice (Craig of the Creek) Kelsey pondered her literary predicament. Was Kelsey… truly like Fire? Was Stacks truly like Ice? Were Kelsey and Stacks like… Fire and Ice? W-would that… be okay?

Another episode I reviewed, as part of a decent sized middle finger ot the don't say gay bill, and another classic. It also cements that had I gotten my act together Craig of the Creek would've had a place high on this list for some time, but even with a show this high quality that essentially serves as the spirtiual sequel to Recess, updating it for modern times with way more diversity and having it after school instead of during to allow for more creative freedom, this show is an absolute delight and this is easily one of it's best episodes.

See the show had long hitned at Kelsey being gay with her subtext with a blatant crush on wildernessa nad plenty of muttual ship tease with Stacks. The show didn't really make a bit deal out of it it was just clear she was likely into girls. The creators even just casuallyr evealed she and stacks were both gay via word of mouth. But the clever trick here is that just because the audeince could tell to the points the creator sdidn't bother waiting to confirm it.. dosen't mean the CHARACTER knows their gay.

As such this episode is one long coming out story for Kelsey and even then only the first, most important, and most nervewracking party ESPECIALLY for a young child: admitting it to yourself. Like Kelsey I ha dcrushes on men before realizing I was bisexual, but just.. never relaized it was more than appricating a man looks good. And I was about twice her age when the wave of terror of realizing hit me. So all these feelings of realizing this is real, not knowing what to do.. are hard.

It's doubly hard on Kelsey who has this relization in front of a target and is crushing on someone who not only may like her back, but is one of her closest friends. Kelsey's friendship with Stacks steadily grew over the series, the extroverted kelsey suprisingly meshing well with the introvert who prefers to stay in the library. The two even shared their love of reading with a secret society/book club that's progressed into writing their own books, all set up by previous episodes.. for the payoff here. Kelsey writes an adventure story reminicent of she ra with obvious avatars for her and stacks.. that are into each other. The problem is Kelsey and Stacks, being childrens, didn't realize their avatars were each other nor what that meant till Craig blurted it out for everyone. In his defense he both ENTIRELY doesn't realize what this means for both of them or the pain it would cause and as we see later in the same season wit his own love life it took him MONTHS to realize Wildernessa liked him after flat out confessing during capture the flag, and the obvious tension during breaking the ice. Craigy Boy is many things, most of them good.. but oblvious is very much one of them.

So this leads Kelsey into a panic as she realizes what this means and avoids stacks worrying about both destroying her friendship and how to progress the story… knowing it could mean progressing her relationship. We also get a nice moment as Craig misses the point.. but in a nice subtle bit JP POSSIBLY dosen't. It's left nicely vauge: my surrogate son is entirely dense… but there are little cues int eh animation that tell me him taking Kelsey to Kat, his sister Laura's girlfriend who turns out ot be a writer, wasn't just for writing advice.. but to help his friend sort out her feelings with people who not only likely had been there but who can ease her into it.

What follows is a truly great scene as Kat helps guide Kelsey, not only praising her writing.. but helping her realize that these feelings, while panick endusing are a bad thing.. and she should embrace htem. That having your feelings come through in your work isn't bad.. and said feelings are a good thing. ONe generation helps the next.. and through that Kelsey's able to not only finish the story.. but tell Stacks how she feel, leading to adorable handholding. Granted the story.. is far from over and hopefully we have enough time in season 5 or later this season to continue this before the series ends because damn you zaslav, as there's still a few steps in her journey to go but I can't wait to see the

4. Screech Leeches (Tuca and Bertie)

"Bertie you weren't a creep, you were a high school girl with too many hot wet sloppy high school feelings to know what to do with. Be kind to that creepy baby bertie, she wormed her way into my heart. " "Awww i'm your heart worm"

Another show bows out of this list though unlike Close Enough, where it comes off as JG Quintel has moved on… eeriley well at that, it's clear Lisa Hanawalt hasn't given up yet and the show might find yet another home. And given Season 3 was as good as ever and left with a lot of places to go, i'm hoping for. For now though the show left with a stellar season and one episode in paticular sucker punched me in the emotoinal gut. And while it sadly lacks Matthew Rhys using his belos voice as a sexy tree, speckle for more than one cameo or Tuca giving literal birth to bertie

It was easily the best of the season. Screech Leeches is really a stand alone, focusiong on Bertie as she spirals over her high school friend Muriel making a jordan peele style horror film that she feels is about her. What follows is a very long very painful flashback that shows just how lost Bertie was after her molestation: Her parents, as already establisehd didn't want to talk about it, her counciler was useless and her friends were worse than useless, none of them realizing what they did wrong or that it wasn't scoring… though one did go professional at being a bitch so… good for her..

Bertie does find a friend in Muriel who for the moment is what she needed: someone willing to lash out, who also had been sexually asaulted and gotten no help, and who helped her be angry. It's the kind of friendship we've all had: where you find someeone cooler than you and latch onto them.

And as we see while Bertie does start copying Muriel not only did muriel encourage it.. but then lead her on by kissing her. While Bertie then became a bit.. too obessive, it's as Tuca says at the end: She was a little creepy.. but also awash in 80 pounds of hormones, at a loss of any directoin. It makes Muriel rejecting her and tearing the poor girl apart so painful and there's no real cathariss: the film wasn't about her, and there's no real indication things would ever get solved. And that's how life is sometimes. Sometimes one of the worst moments of it. .is just an object lesson more than something you'll ever get real closure on. Hopefully the same won't be said for this series

3. The Beginning of the End/All-In/The Hardest Thing (Amphibia)

"Change can be difficult, but it's how we grow. It can be the hardest thing to realize you can't hold on to something forever, sometimes you have to let it go. But of all the things you let go, you'd be surprised what makes its way back to you."

Amphibia came to a close and while as I mentioned last part, the last batch of episodes was more.. okay.. the finale.. was true magic. While it's first part, The Beggining of the End was part of WHY that batch was okay, having the assembled army just go

When Anne was captured, which made little sense and felt like we just wasted a good chunk of build up building these armies when it amounted to fuck all. It's why this one didn't score higher, despite making it all the way to #3: it felt like an insulting waste in a series that really wastes little.

Thankfully what followed is easily one of the best tv finales i've seen, a masterful hour and a half (While the hardest thing was seperated it's basically one big movie) of payoff. And one of the first things it does once our heroes escape the floating castle, is make something I disagreed with, Anne's Parents staying behind, into something badass as they've become trained badasses in super suits and Mr. X, having done his face turn we all knew was coming now he realized that not all aliens are bad, just the one with floating final boss castles.

We get the epic battle we were promised.. as well as three excellent payoffs to each of the calamity trio's arcs: Anne shows how far she's come whil epunching a dictator in the face, Sasha fights her own self doubt and Darcy, and Marcy herself rejects what she's always wanted after realizing what other people wants matter and she can't just avoid reality. We also get abuses of goverment property, the Plantars conquering the very beings that took the kids parents so long ago, and k-pop, which is better than I ever thought it'd be. Yes i'm old. I know.

The final part dosen't let up with one final battle with the Core (Who I felt ended up underdeveloped , another small crtique), with an utterly epic version of no big deal.. and a truly tearjerking goodbye as our heroes have to accept amphibia is gone.. and instead of feeling like a copout.. it worked. I didn't like all the seperation.. but it worked for the theme matt was going for: Sometimes you have to say goodbye, nothing lasts forever.. but what the people you met taught you does.. and maybe just maybe they'll come back to you. And all live in a house together and be gay with each other. one can only hope. it was a truly fitting end to a truly amazing cartoon that became so much grander than I ever imagined and will stick me with me for some time. It's hard to let it go.. but this ep made it so much easier.

2. The Darkness Within (The Legend of Vox Machina)

"I know your in there. Darling, take off the mask…

See I hadn't forgot Percy getting ready to murder his tormenter. I did however didnt' mention things were even worse as Keyleth tearjerkingly took the bullet for Vex, who had been absolutely terrible to her all season worrying she'd loose her brother if he shot his shot with the ashari. Oh and Pike is gone, her astral projection she'd been using having run out

So it's not the best time for Orthax, the shadowy demon Percy unknowingly made a pact with and who increased his bloodlust for those who wronged him, to fully posses percy as Delilah taunts him, wanting him to finish the job.. so he can take full root in the man's soul and full control of the metaphorical demon he's unleashed, the creation of the gun. It's Percy's long dark knight of the soul and while it's clear Orthax nearly has him at this point and he knows he's being controleld by something.. he's not resiting at first. After all Deliliah destroyed his life, killed almost everyone he's ever loved, tourtured everyone in his home town, done countless other attrocities.. why not put one between the eyes? And the answer is simple: he does.. and that's it. Percy is gone.

So it becomes a tense battle between a possed no mercy percy and vox machina, who both don't want to hurt him and have to play keep away with depowered deliliah. While the fights in whispers were gorgeous, ther'es a reason it's on the list it's this fight that honestly compells me more. The fight there had plenty of character but this is the real climax: Percy versus his need to fill the void left by the briarwoods genocide of his family, versus the literal and metaphorical demon inside him, a living representation of vengance and how even if done for the noblest of reasons.. it only keeps going. As The List adds vox machina to each barrel it's clear this will never end if Percy isn't stopped.

It's also telling that what stops Percy isn't the fighting.. but a plea from Vex, love of his life and the only person able to get through to him so far. It's risking her life to stand up to him that finally get shim to relent if only for a second, taking the mask off.. and the animatoin is stunning as it is horrifying here as we see percy SOBBING with fear as he tells her when she asks him to put down the gun "I .. .can't it wont' let me".. and his solution is equally heartbreaking.. to put the gun to his chin and as Vex and Cassandra both beg him not to his response "I don't know what else to do"

Thankfully the shadowy demon puppeting him intervends then suggests him to psychological torment to try and get him to continue doing his bidding.

What we get is a truly gruelingly long nightmare as Orthax reveals himself, that he was there all along.. and uses hallucinations of Percy's family to torment him as he attacks unknowingly attacking his firends. Once again wha tfinally wins the day.. is love. This time the love of family as Cassandra takes her own turn, at vax's urging, begging him, getting him to let go… and let a round into his hand, freeing him from orthax.

The rest of the episode is largely wrap up, but well done: Percy apologizes for his actions, Scanlan wisely decides to just throw his gun in acid instead of dealing with it expense sbe dammed (Which Percy is righ tpissed about.. until a shadowy bird demon made of acid pops up as it screams it's hopefully last scream.. then he's a bit cooler about it), and Delilah gets hers… courtsey of cass. While Percy forgave her for his own soul.. she didn't have to.

Our heroes survive, whitestone has a chance to rebuild, Cassandra a chance to lead them, and our heroes are free to prance off to clear their name, taking a few days off.. which was good because the next shit show is literally around the corner. That dragon they killed.. was one of FIVE. and the others are bigger, meaner, smarter.. and heading right for Emon. See in you in a few weeks boys and girl! For now though it was an excellent way to end the season as Percy finally gets to breathe.. can he forgive himself? Can he move on? Will it take as long as it did in stream fo rhe and vex to see their menat for each other? All good questions.. but he's now free to answer them on his terms.

Hollow Mind (Owl House)

"Do me a kindness would you and call me by my real name?

After only making it to second place last year, Owl House wins top honors this year. It also FINALLY gives me a defending champion, as the last two years the winner was either on it's last season (BoJack Horseman ) or took a year off (Invincible), so while Owl house only has one more year to it, it has a very good chance of giving us our first two time winner!

For now though, it's gladly won top honors. It wasn't easy, I went back and forth between the top two a lot.. but in the end while both have some waking nightmare in there, the tight plotting, horrifying reveals, and sheer nightmare of Hollow MInd won out. In 22 brillaint mintues, we're taken inside Belos head… and neither Luz , Hunter nor the audience come out of there okay.

The setup is simple: Hunter barged in on the future CATS trying to get into Belos head, and not having fully been deprogrammed yet, tried tos top them. Luz trie dtos top him.. and so both ended up in his brain. It's a nice tense build up as the various flashbacks and a ghost child show us how Belos got here: We know he's phillip at this point, Elswhere and Elsewhen made that very clear, but we see that indeed his connection to the titan is bullshit

And in actually shocking news.. the sigils, while always figured to be something bad.. are designed to MURDER the participants. There was a lot of speculation as to what belos was planning, what his end goal was. And finding out he was phillip

So the reveal.. is painfully terrifying, and shockingly realistic… while he's using magic to do so and it's fantastical enough to slide by disney censors. .his end goal is still plainly, clearly, nakedly.. genocide. He wants witch kind dead.. nothing left and feels as a witch hunter that' shis job. That's all he's eve rwanted, why he made a pact with an elder god all of this.. was just pure bigotry in it's most gastly form. It's a simple motive.. but one that makes Phillip that much more horrifying as an antagonist. We all thought there was more to it.. but that's really all he wants and what all this was for and it suddenly changes the game: we needed to stop him.. but now if he's not EVERYONE who has a sigil dies. Every adult character we know except Eda is marked for death.

The reveal itself is chilling coming shortly after we find out Hunter.. isn't the first of his kind. Every one of the guards has died because Belos simply coudln't accept his brother was a bigot.. including the original Caleb as seen in some background flashback paintings. Belos has killed dozens of beings just for the crime of not being what he fooled himself into thinking his brother was. It's utterly chilling and Matthew Rhys gives the performance of his career as he gladly reveals everything, coldly tries to kill hutner, then gleefully tells Luz her paret in aall this.. I feel her not getting he was phillip soone rwas denial.. and finding out hits her hard. She helped cause this.. everything she loves is going to die.. and the guy responsible has the gall to ask for her help. She says no, he "can't reason with crazy" and luz BARELY surivives… it's a truly horrifying, long walk that ends with our heroes now having a short time to save the world, hunter runing and both our main heroes for the season utterly broken. It's a majestic half hour of television, the finest episode in oen of the finest shows i've ever seen.. and it firmly deserves this honor. A true masterpiece if there ever was one.

Thank for reading all of this. if you want more of my nosense you can find me HERE on twitter, and here's to another great year of reviews. Thank you all so much for your support. I love you all.

[frugalkubal]

Since I can't post images for some reason (most likely my barely functional internet connection and old ass phone), I just ranked my favourite Jigokuraku characters by category.

⚠️Contains Manga Spoilers

☆ Asaemons:

1. Fuchi. I adore him so much, you have no idea. He's smart, adorable, weird (affectionately speaking), and probably an aroace like me. ♡ XD I was disappointed when he died, but he looked so happy that I just accepted it. I wasn't even mad at Shugen bc Fuchi wasn't.

2. Sagiri. I love her so much. She's such a badass but not spiteful in the slightest and still quite feminine. I love how she's so kind. I love how she's like the captain of the GabiYui ship. 😂💕

3. Shion. I like him like how I like JJK's Nanami. I highly respect responsible, thoughtful adults and kind mentors like them.

4. Tenza. He deserved so much better. He deserved the potential future that he imagined. If I have to draw it for him despite my busy sched, then heck I will.

5. Senta. He also deserved better. He just wanted to draw in peace, damnit. ಥ_ಥ

6. Shugen. 🎶Oh, he's sweet but a psycho. A little bit psycho~🎶 (Ngl, I love him for that.) Other than that song, the phrase "Power of Friendship" would also immediately remind me of him. 😂 He's unhinged and blinded by his sense of honor and duty, but he's still freaking awesome. He's THE BEST among all of the swordsmen in this series. I like how he's the only one in the series who's capable of changing his tao attribute while he copies his fellow Yamada clansmen's techniques. He's like the Kise Ryouta of swordsmanship. Plus, they're both emotional guys with broken tear ducts. 🤣

7. Isuzu. She's tall, dark and gorgeous. ♡ She's also polite. Plus, she's strong and quite skilled with the sword.

☆ Criminals:

0. Yui. She's a criminal in a way the she took Gabimaru's heart and killed his old coldblooded self. lol I adore this woman! She's just freaking awesome both as a human and as a wife. ♡♡♡

1. Gabimaru. His absolute dedication to be reunited with the one and only love of his life, his beloved Yui, is just so damn admirable. Plus, he's freaking awesome when he fights. If Shugen has the power of friendship, Gabi has the power of love and marriage. 😂💕

2. Gantetsusai. I love this guy's character development the most. I love the genuine friendship he gradually formed with Fuchi; I love how such friendship positively influenced his new life after this whole ordeal with the island. Plus, he can be freaking hilarious. Heck, even the reason he got imprisoned was kinda hilarious.

3. Yuzuriha. She's just as awesome and pretty as her girlfriend (Sagiri). ♡ XD I love how she's so skilled, carefree, optimistic and funny. I also love how she encourages Sagiri at times when the latter was about to give up.

4. Aza brothers. I just love their strong bond and how awesome of a big brother Chōbe is to Tōma. I also like how they're both strong and a little unhinged. lol Plus, they kinda look like KiriBaku's kids in another universe. 😂

5. Nurugai. She didn't even commit a crime, damnit. ಥ‿ಥ I love how she's kind, straightforward and clever for her age. I'm aware she's quite young (12) and some people find it icky for her to marry Tenza(17) but I just gave consideration to their time period's customs/norms. Also, they're both pure, wholesome beans so I'm not bothered if they eventually got married if Tenza hadn't died — only if Nuru's 16 in that marriage (like in Gabi's case). That would've been the better ending for Tenza. T_T

6. Shija. I don't want to put another category for ninjas, so I'm just adding this unhinged nonbinary yandere here. ♡ XD I felt kinda bad for them for ending up the way they are bc of how they're raised. Also, I think they're an amazing fighter/ninja; afterall, they were supposed to be the next "Gabimaru The Hollow."

7. Rokuruta. Who wouldn't like this freakishly huge and strong 8-year-old feminist? 🤣

☆ Island folks:

1. Mei. She's sane and has a good heart. She's also adorable! ♡

2. Hōko. He's Mei's loving dad in this hell. ಥ‿ಥ

3. Gui Fa. They're just so chill, rational and kinda socially awkward, y'know. Love that about them. ♡ I also like that they don't give a damn about bochu jutsu and would rather read a book. Quite relatable tbh. 😂

That's all. I don't really care about everyone else. •‿•

[almostarealboy-blog]

Book Review: Girl, Woman, Other

Honestly, this book is really good and then,,, just,,,, kinda,,,, drops the ball in the last like actually two chapters, let me explain

Pros

Beautifully written characters with a ton of attention to their backgrounds and familial connections and friends that form around them and shape them into who they are

Interconnected web of relationships that serve to actually show how those relationships affect people, positively, negatively, or not at all

the PROSE guh this is written in such a readable way that makes my brain so happy with how freeform and open and poignant and intimate and open it makes it, feels like reading someone's inner thoughts

Cons

Literally just the last two chapters, genuinely, like,, that was the only part I wasn't really a fan of, for two reasons

the reinforcement of the interconnected relationships between all the characters felt unnecessary and redundant. part of my joy in reading this was going OH MY GOSH WAIT and then skipping back some chapters and realizing the relationships that these people had with each other - none of it is subtle, the only ones that might catch you by surprise are the ones where you forgot a name that was mentioned earlier or there's simply no way to know without additional context - but it just felt satisfying to have seen this massive web, and then it felt not satisfying to have someone come and say HEY you see this web :))) I made this web :)))) like, yes, I was admiring it, you didn't need to point it out

weird ass repeated transphobia. yes, I understand that this is a problem among black communities, especially in the older generations. yes, I understand that these are thoughts that would cross the minds of those older characters. no, I genuinely do not think it was necessary to beat me over the head with it.

One of the characters is non-binary and goes by they/them, and a) they are CONSTANTLY misgendered by other characters, to the point of uncomfort (for me), b) in this misgendered, there's a reductive repeated notion of people not knowing if they are a man or a woman. which. isn't the worst, no. it does form this idea that to be non-binary, you have to look androgynous, or at least cause confusion about your gender (literally completely untrue). but it's fine. but god if I was not sick and tired of the constant "is it a man or a woman?" "this man, or it could be a woman" by the end - that exact turn of phrase has to show up like at least 10 times in the second to last chapter.

and I didn't mind the chapter where we follow their great-grandmother, who struggles with the concept of a third gender or gender spectrum. But, like, this is fine. she's literally like 93 in whatever maybe 2006? It's a stance I honestly understand and it helps us to see how her youth and the culture in which she was raised affects her current thoughts and how this differs from her great-grandkid. This is good. I like this.

But then we get a series of literally every other character but one (?) misgendering this person, making transphobic comments, and even a little "trans women cannot possibly understand the struggle of real women" bs on the side, as a treat.

I think I wouldn't be so upset about this if it weren't for the rest of the book being so got dang good and allowing glimpses into character's backgrounds that allow us to find sympathy for the mistakes they make, but then also see how these experiences affect not only them, but their friends and children. It was So Good. And so to see it then do an alright job of displaying a genderqueer experience and then immediately proceeding to diminish that with repeated and, honestly, mostly unexplained bashing of the identity, experience, and outspokenness of the genderqueer character? felt not good.

Discussion

GREAT book for character study and seeing how experiences by one person can echo through multiple generations in unexpected ways, how women, especially black women, are treated in general society, and how a group of seemingly wildly different people can be interconnected in numerous ways

Very interesting look as well into how feminism changes from generation to generation - the changes in not just views, but on what needs to be accomplished, which I think is what the enby character was intended to showcase. I just think that, unfortunately, it was not researched well enough to be executed in a way that didn't come off as transphobic

Rating

I would 100% read this again but NOT the last two chapters. Honestly, reading just the character stories again, I feel like I would find relationships and details I didn't catch on a first read-through, but I would certainly Not re-read any chapters that aren't named after a character because it would just make me sad (: sad end to a real good book

[inspiteallthedanger]

Hi, this is not a very original ask, and I know it must have been discussed a thousand times, but I just got reminded of it again and I got to really really wonder about it. My question is: Who do you think Paul meant with "I'm in love with a friend of mine" line in ''Dear Friend''? My first instinct is to be always a sceptic, and I always want to try a rational and objective explanation first. For those reasons I've always kinda assumed that line was about Linda, something like "Can't you understand/be nicer to me and Linda, she's another friend and I'm in love with her''. Something like what John was often saying about how Yoko was a partner in art, who you can touch (unlike Paul). So Linda was a friend who you can be in love with.

But.. right now I find my sceptic interpretation odd and weak. The word ''friend'' in the title and the orther lyrics of the song is obviously about John and that has been admitted many times. Why whould the other time he uses ''friend'' be suddenly not about John? And when has Paul ever referred to Linda as a friend of his, they never started as friends I think. It just doesn't make much sense that he would use that phrase for her and in a song about another ''dear'' friend. Though, then the ''really truly, young and newly wed'' seems to be about Linda... (but that doesn't mean that the I'm in love with a friend of mine should also be...?...) So confusing, and this is actually a song in which all other lyrics are understandable! For me it's not really one of those occasions when Paul is casual and obscure forever because he never meant the lyrics to make sense. Not to mention how uniquely emotionally he sings it in the home demos. The end of demo 1 especially. Not that the emotion explains the line per se, but if ''I'm in love with a friend of mine'' was a happy victorious statement about the newly wed, then why was he singing the song so sad? So I wondered what you thought, because you're so good at analysis and I think you can think of other sceptic and rational explanations. And if not maybe there's another kind of light in the tunel. Maybe for the first time I can rule out sceptic.

Hello! I do see what you mean about the song being a little confusing, but I think you're right that it's a song to John about Paul being in love with Linda and all the apparent fallout that's created. I think this is explained if you replace 'friend' with their names. For example:

Dear friend, throw the wine I'm in love with a friend of mine

Becomes:

Dear John, throw the wine (I guess this means throw a fit or ruin the party)

I'm in love with Linda

I think it's all in line with Paul being somewhat baffled about why John's being so terrible to him (and Linda especially). The reason it's sad is because he's talking to John and so all of that baggage is bleeding through. He's devastated because he thinks this might be the end of his and John's relationship, if they can't get passed him being with Linda:

Dear friend, what's the time? (is this the end of us?) Is this really the borderline? (are we at the end of all things?) Does it really mean so much to you? (is me being with her really the breaking point?) Are you afraid, or is it true? (are you just scared I don't love you, or are you really being serious and don't want me anymore?)

So I don't think he's exactly saying "Be nicer to her" although I guess that would be the outcome. He's asking John over and over what's going on, why is he being a jerk, when all Paul's done is fall in love with Linda. Obviously, it's weirder from Paul's perspective, because that's exactly what John did a few months before him. Let's not get into why that's weird or we'll be here all day.

I will say, that it's very interesting to me that by giving both John and Linda the same title of 'friend', he's sort of suggesting they're equally important to him. Which is why I think John took it to be an olive branch and calmed down a bit. Overall the song can be seen to say: "Listen, what's happening here? I love her and I'm happy with her, can't you get over that? I care about you both deeply and I cannot bear the thought that you're making me choose."

Side note in crazy tinhat moment 'friend as a term for partner' = 'old estranged fiancé' + 'think of me from time to time, old friend'. I've connected the dots etc etc.

Anyway. That's how I take it. Does that make sense? Let me know what you think!

[rrazor]

hq boys as non-sexual things that feel sensual

tags: mildly suggestive content (mostly pining)

bokuto: certain phrases are very sexually charged; “make me,” or “what are you gonna do about it” lunch time!! bokuto comes back from the cafeteria with his pork-cutlet sandwich to see you engaged in a card game with three other people. He sees that everyone’s bet something and you bet a strawberry danish you bought this morning and bokuto’s eyes go 🤩 he forces himself in LMFAO and makes sure to sit next to you 🥰❤️ in the end, it’s only you and him left (konoha and komi come over from their classes to see what all the fuss is about and they’re like …..how is bokuto doing so well 😶)

but you win and steal his sandwich on the desk 😈 he tries to defame you for cheating lol but all you do is look at him coyly like “and what are you gonna do about it, bokuto-kun? 😇” and suddenly his tongue feels heavy and his cheeks flush and he’s all 🥺👉👈 he asks you for the bread back because its his only lunch 😭💀 but he ends up winning sm more because you offer to share your bento with him and his heart goes 🥰💖💞

akaashi: sitting next to someone and your shoulders/thighs touch it’s the sports festival!! and it’s lunch break. he spots you sitting on a bench and he starts sweating at the idea of sitting next to you but he wants to be near you somewhat because then MAYBE you’ll talk to him??!? hopefully 🥺💔

he swallows his nerves and sits on the bench too but on the other side with a huge gap between you and your friend. he pulls out his phone to look “busy” LMFAO then, more of your friends come over and suddenly, you’re snug against him, your BARE THIGH touching his because you’re both in shorts and akaashi thinks he gonna pass out with the bashful apology you give him 😵 he thanks every deity he can think of that your friends came over and STAY because your leg is still touching his and he’s holding a conversation with you 😭🥺🥳💕💖❤️😍

konoha: having someone use your keyboard standing up while you’re sitting in front of it you’re in one of the school’s computer labs working on a research essay. akinori sits next to your station, having worked up the courage earlier to ask you if you could help him with his. he sneaks glances at you at the printers as you refill the trays with more paper 👀 he blushes even though you aren’t even doing anything to him 😭😔💔

before he can stop himself, he calls your name lmfao 🗣 but manages to save himself from utter embarrassment by asking you to look over one of his passages. coming over, you lean over him, hands on his keyboard as he leans back. his eyes are wide and cheeks ruddy as he tries so hard to keep cool because you’re so close 😍🥺💕 and god does he hope what he wrote was coherent because he thinks he’d d-word if you said it made no sense 😓😵

kuroo: when you’re sitting next to someone and they lean over and reach across you to grab something another day, another group project. kuroo gets added to a group with you and another guy because he was absent for volleyball. the two of you push your desks next to him and he’s fist pumping internally because you’re sitting next to HIM and not the other guy and he gets to act as the barrier AHAHAH 😇🥳😛

you’re working together when you ask one of your friends to pass over the notes she took from you. she’s sitting in front of kuroo, but diagonally to the right so she leans back and you lean forward to grab the papers. your arm accidentally brushes his chest and kuroo short circuits 😶 you’re SO CLOSE and your body is nearly laid over his entire desk and if he moves his hands up he could probably touch your chest HJAKHSDLKASD 👁👄👁 the guy next to him looks at him all 😐 as kuroo goes INSANE 🤯

kita: hugging from behind he’s home alone, studying in the living room for his university exams. you’re in the kitchen with his grandma helping her with tonight’s dinner. he smiles softly to himself hearing the two of you laugh 😊🥰💞

he’s halfway through a derivatives question when you hug him from behind, arms coming around him as you rest your head on his shoulder blades 🥺💘 when you softly tell him dinner is almost ready, his chest warms and a soft smile appears on his face ❤️💖

atsumu: the guys strapping you in on a roller coaster. are we gonna kiss? why are you giving me that eye contact? inarizaki’s vbc get together to go to the local amusement park!! they get in and the first thing the twins want to do is ride all of the roller coasters so after a ridiculously long line up, atsumu’s sitting next to osamu, waiting for an attendant to come buckle them in, when you suddenly come up in your cute uniform and hair tied up and atsumu’s like SHIT ITS YOU 😳 also damn y didn’t you tell him you worked here he could have gotten discounted tickets smh 🥴😒

anyways you come up to them to buckle them up with him first and he doesn’t really notice anything but you buckle the first strap really tight and he’s like “does it need to be so tight 😘” and you tell him, making eye contact, using your best customer service voice (vocal bottoming but at least you get paid) and with a pretty smile on your face that doesn’t reach your eyes, “yes, unless you want to die. and if you do, don’t do it on this ride because my shift ends in ten minutes and i don’t want to stay here to write a report about a dumbass who ko’d on a roller coaster 🥰” and he BLUSHES oop— 👁👅👁

osamu: having your back scratched you sit next to each other in class and it’s self study time and you’re helping him with the english homework that was assigned when his back starts feeling itchy. he rolls and moves his shoulders to try to alleviate it, but it just isn’t working so he brings a hand back to scratch at it, but he’s not flexible enough to reach it 😔 you ask him what’s wrong and he puts his arm down like he got burned because he doesn’t want to be seen doing something weird in front of you or making a weird face so he just says nothing but you raise a brow and go “are you itchy?” and he nods JAJCKKAD

you bring your arm up to where he was just scratching, “here?” a shake of his head, “no, a little to the right.” AND YOU SCRATCH RIGHT AT IT!!!!! he can feel his shoulders slump as he closes his eyes and groans a little WHOOP he’s SUPER EMBARRASSED but you just laugh it off and scratch him some more before going back to work and he looks at you like 🥺💖 why’d you stop?? even though you’re not even looking at him LOL 😞 touches his back that night in the shower like your hands were so small 😯😍😳 and maybe he should be itchy more often but it also quickly turns to she better not be touchy feely with anyone else 😒

suna: someone writing on your arm he’s forced to take this one evening class this semester because it’s not offered the next one and he needs to take it because it’s a prereq for almost every other course ugh but at least the cute girl who sits next to him lets him copy her notes LMFAO 😭💀 he left all his belongings in the gym’s lockers because he was going to go back anyways for practice so when the professor gives out a code for a free trial of the software they have to use for the homework assignment due in a week, he’s like shit; he left his phone in his bag 🤡💔

you offer to write it down on his arm, grabbing a pen from your pencil case. he nods like sure why not so you take his arm and push the sleeve of his hoodie up and start writing and he just stares at you 👀 your writing is cute and he kinda likes the feel of your hands on him 🤧 class ends and you part ways with a wave. It’s not until he’s reached the gym that he realized you could have just messaged the code to him on facebook 🤨 so he pushes his sleeve up and sees your phone number on his arm under the code 😘 aren’t you smooth!!! 😌

iwaizumi: when someone is putting the car in reverse and they put their hand on the back of your seat iwaizumi been interested in you for a while, and ever since he came to the revelation he finds it really hard to talk to you because he’s afraid of coming off too aggressive or you figuring it out 😔💔 good thing kindaichi reveals that you’re his older cousin and that you’ll be driving some of them to their next practice match because the volleyball team’s bus is out for a checkup!! 😍😘 oikawa, matsukawa and hanamaki all force him to sit shotgun as you drive (even kunimi and yahaba get in on it). iwaizumi grumbles about it and all but he’s secretly super happy he gets to be right next to you omg 👀😭 he takes a bunch of glances around the interior of your (parents’) car and sits a little straighter than he usually would.

he can feel the stares on the back of his head from the other third years egging him on to make a move and just when he works up the nerve to say something to you, you put the car in reverse to back out the parking spot and put your hand on the back of his seat 😳😤 iwaizumi thinks you look so cool AND HOT he clams up and just stares at you with his jaw slightly open 👁👄👁 💕pls save him 🤧

matsukawa: when a girl puts her hand up to yours and remarks on how yours is so much bigger you got randomly paired up with each other to do a presentation for your world history class and so you’re sitting next to each other on a saturday afternoon at the public library doing research together. matsukawa spent more time than he would like thinking about what to wear because he doesn’t want you to think that his fashion sense was as grotesque as the school’s khaki pants 😷🤢 (when you complimented him nonchalantly about how he looks a million times better in casual clothes compared to the school uniform and joking said that he should start a petition to get rid of the school’s ugly khaki plaid pants and skirts and use a photo of what he was wearing today as the main piece of evidence, he almost doubles over 💀)

you’re sitting next to each other and he’s still kinda reeling from the previous interaction ahjdalhd but he does his best to pull his weight. he’s taking notes in a notebook and you look over and comment out of the blue that his hands are really big as you look at yours 🤧👀 he blinks and looks at you like “yeah?” and you nod, putting your hand up and he does it too because he thinks he’s having a fever dream at this point, but not even in his wildest dream did he’’d ever think you’d push your palm against his and say “your hand is so big! 😳” he has to excuse himself to go to the washroom to scream 😘🥰❤️

hanamaki: when you’re sitting next to someone on public transport and the centrifugal force from the vehicle firmly mooshes the two of you together hanamaki pines for you silently and you can’t really tell he likes you because he’s pretty decent at keeping his emotions hidden. or maybe you’re just so busy with your senior year you don’t notice anything that isn’t the impending doom of university applications and keeping your grades up 😤😇 anyways the two of you get on and off at the same stop each day (which he secretly thanks god for 😭) and you’re sitting next to each other and hanamaki thinks he’s gonna combust because you’ve never been this close!! 🥺🥰

he can feel his hands getting sweaty already. hanamaki sneaks glances at you and tries to see what you’re doing on your phone LMFAO suddenly, the train lurches a bit and you slide from the inertia right into his side and then he can feel the warmth coming from your thighs, side and your shoulder are touching holy sh— 😭❤️😵👀💖 you look up to apologize as he takes a breath and you’re a little shy in your apology but he takes that chance to ask you about something mundane and he makes you laugh!!!! he thinks about the interaction for the next two weeks because he finally got to talk to you dhaskld ☺️🥺💕

kyoutani: when anyone raises their arms to stretch and their shirt gets lifted up slightly gym class—you’re doing timed runs today!! kyoutani is already finished with his so he’s just sitting off the side of the track, staring not-so-subtly at you but you don’t notice because it’s your turn next!! you’ve got the typical school mandated shorts and plain t-shirt on but kyou is all 👀 at your tastefully exposed skin. he thinks you look pretty with the sun hitting your face as you give a smile to your friend, squinting at the sun light 🥰

he’s just mindlessly staring at this point but then you raise your arms to stretch your triceps and the hem of your shirt rises up a little to expose the tiniest sliver of skin before it’s covered again 👁👁 his cheeks pink a little and you catch him looking LMFAO but you don’t think anything of it and just smile and wave as kyoutani burns bright red, heart battering against his ribs and looks away 😡🤡🥰💕 he saves it for future reference HURDURDUR 😇😛

ushijima: when a woman does that thing where she tucks her hair behind her ear while making direct eye contact ushijima is INTERESTED in you, likes you, is intrigued, would like to hold your hand and rub the back of your hand and feel the soft skin with his thumb—same thing 🥰 you’re talking to him about something for the cultural festival and he’s nodding along to what you’re saying because you’re so brilliant and responsible for working on the school festival committee wOW 🤩

time seems to move in slow motion as you look up him whilst tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. he zones in on the shy smile on your face, your cute cheeks, glossy lips and pretty eyes 🥺🥰 “ushijima-san?” “yes?” “what do you think?” “that’s a great idea, I will ask my team members for their input as well.” you nod exuberantly even though he has no idea what you’re talking about but your cute smile makes him all mushy on the inside 💖💕

semi: making eye contact with another customer at the grocery store around the same age it’s 2:11pm on a tuesday and semi’s at the grocery store because it’s summer and his mom was all “go to the store and buy these shimeji mushrooms for me, eita, they’re on sale!!! but only until 3pm so get skedaddling!” 😩 so he’s here and he swears housewives are the most powerful people on the planet because he thought he was gonna d-word just tryna get his discount mushrooms. he spots you in the condiments aisle looking at sesame oil and he gives you the up, down and lingers a little too long on your exposed legs 💀

he thinks you look really cute in your t-shirt and jean shorts though 🥰 when you look up and make eye contact with him and give him a little smile and wave he BLUSHES 🥺 and is right about to take the chance to talk to you but a granny hip checks him trying to get to the soybean paste and he almost trips and lands on his face 😔💔 so much for looking cool in front of you 😢🥺

tendou: having someone else play with your hair satori sees you on cleaning duty carrying the recycling to the bins as he finishes his runs around the school, about to make a turn to the gyms. he makes a beeline for you, calling your name with a bright smile on his face and waving his arms in the air. 🥰💞🥺

he bounds up to you and offers to help even though the bin is really light, cheeks warming at your smile 😊 when he takes the bin out of your hands , you wave your hand to get him to bend down. he complies, eyes widening when he feels your hand in his hair. he straightens up to see you holding onto a couple pieces of cherry blossom petals 🌸 he laughs bashfully; it feels like time has slowed and you’re the only two people in the world 💖💕

sakusa: if you’re on a pc/laptop, somebody leaning over your shoulder to look at the screen with you. the close proximity of your faces can feel awkwardly sexual you’re in the same kinesiology class and sakusa first noticed how GOOD your presentations are wtf and he’s even more impressed when he hears that you winged the whole thing because “i conveniently forgot about this until one in the morning when I decided it was a good time to reorganize your entire dorm room” ALSO you offered him hand cream the one time you caught him staring and against all reason he said yes and ever since he’s been dying to ask you where you got it from because HOLY was it nice 😍

you get paired up for the final pair presentation and he’s only become more interested in you! you’re easy to talk to and don’t pry too much and he finds himself oversharing at times 💀 the professor gives the class part of the lecture time to work on the projects so you’re sitting next to each other working when he asks you a question about the academic article he just found and you lean over his shoulder to look at his screen 👁👁 for anyone else, the close proximity of your faces would have grossed him out but he can’t stop thinking about how good you smell and how cute your ears look 👀🥰 when you tell him he’s found a really good source with an excited smile on your face, he BLUSHES and promptly wants to pass away because he has no mask on to cover him 🤡😭😵

sachiro: when you have a melting popsicle, there often comes a time where you must choose between eating it too quickly, or sucking it off so it doesn’t drip on you sachiro hums happily, holding your hand as the two of you walk home after your date and stopping at the convenience store where he buys the two of you popsicle sticks 😋

you’re talking about something funny you saw hoshiumi do in the class the other day when your popsicle drips onto you. you kitten lick at your hand and take the whole thing in your mouth to get rid of the more liquidy parts of your ice cream and sachiro is all 👁👄👁 he swallows thickly, cheeks warming and heart beating a little faster; why’s he suddenly so thirsty? 🥵💦🙈

gao: getting a strong whiff of somebody’s perfume when they pass you gao really wants to talk to you, like really really wants to talk to you 😖😭🙏 but you’re talking to your friends about something and the cute way you laughs and joke with them has him all 🥺🥰🤩

he’s about to walk up and join the conversation because let’s face it, gao isn’t afraid of much 🤧💀 too bad the teacher calls you back into the classroom about something. when you pass him, he gets a good whiff of your shampoo and his stomach flutters 😍😊🥺💕💖 follows you with sparkly eyes and wishes he made the choice to talk to you sooner 💔

futakuchi: bending over to pick up something you dropped kenji is watching (glaring) as you talk to one of the baseball team’s starting players 🤐 he’s so ticked but he doesn’t admit it like where does this guy get off making you laugh and smile like that wtf 😒🙄 luckily for kenji, the guy gets pulled away by the class rep for something so kenji calls your name to get you to look at him instead 😤

you come over and just as he’s about to stand up from his desk, he knocks over his eraser. you crouch down to pick it up and he finds himself really liking it 👁👁 he doesn’t get it either 🤡 like you aren’t bending and snapping—just folding your knees to get his eraser for him, but the way you tucked your hair behind your ear before you bent down so prettily has him ☺️😉🥵

terushima: when you’re eating and chatting with someone and they lick their lips yuuji pulled you away from your friends when it was time for lunch, wanting to spend more time with you one on one. he was so busy with volleyball and school lately 😞 and when he managed to get you to tell him how lonely you felt without him, he made it his mission to spend more time with you!!! 🥰😘💕

you’re eating together, sharing food and talking about everything and anything when he notices you lick your lips; he zones in on your little pink tongue as it swipes across your bottom lip 👁👁 “yuuji, you okay?” a hand on your cheek and suddenly, he’s kissing you. he tastes like the leftovers your mom packed you for lunch 🥰😋

[cinnamonest]

Bruh. I literally can't do this anymore, since the release ot the trailer my simp level for Scaramouche has gone way too high up. And tiktok absolutely doesn't help. Have you heard him saying "That's it. Just like that." In such a breathy and a borderline moan way? Like, fuck, I swear to god they did that on purpose😩

That also brings me back to topic of a Lambgirl! Darling... I don't know what exactly it is but they suit each other so so well in my opinion, it's not even funny. Unironically, i think that Scaramouche, admittedly, with time, develops the softest spot for you, a thing about himself that he will admit only over his dead body.

The way that you try to genuinely be a good pet for him makes his heart kind of skip a beat when he fully realised that. Maybe that's because he never really had anybody try to approach him with such pure motives. The world is full of ugly snakes that try to hide behind strong people like him or try to earn a favour from a Harbinger by metaphorically (or not) sucking his dick, as he phrases it. So, he's just not used for such simple-mindness. No backhanded meaning, no pretending. Everything is painfully obvious with you and at the end of the long day full of complaining about how you are the dumbest thing existing on this planet, no, u n i v e r s e, in his heart, he doesn't really mind it.

He would never say it out loud, but your genuine feelings towards him somehow warm up his freezing cold soul. He gets used to your clumsiness and the lack of braincells, it almost helps him to bond with you more, since you don't overcomplicate everything and easy to manipulate into loving him more, witch becomes borderline worshiping and, what at the start kinda baffles him, without the torture or some kind of mind control. You're not complaining. You simply accepted him as your master, and as you should in his mind, but it still kinda surprised him in the beginning. You are dependent on him and you don't even try to deny it, to say that it secretly inflates his ego is an understatement.

Once, he saw you as nothing but a potential sex slave with a neat addition of a fluffy tail and cute ears, but then, with the time progressing, it starts to be obvious for everybody that he is different around you. In what way, even he himself doesn't know. For some reason, it's easier to be more honest with you than anybody else, especially when you two are alone.

With time he also gets more comfortable with you intimately. It's kind of funny to think that you tried almost every sex position before even holding hands properly. But, now that he warmed up to you, not every lingering touch means sex. He can just rest his head on the top of your head or a shoulder, lay on your chest, bodies pressed against each other, but the only thing that is happening is that you stroke his hair as he rests from an exhausting day. He can even hug you, saying that he needs to "recharge". It is embarrassing to him how you then proceeded to try to "recharge" him every day since and he doesn't even hate it.

...And i think it's kind of adorable tbh <3

(sorry for the long ask i just needed to rant about our lord and saviour Scaramouche 😔😩 also very sorry for any grammatical errors, and finally, i love your blog, you can take your time on uploading, you don't own us nothing 🖤🖤)

Anon I'm sorry this was from like a month ago but I am LOVING your energy and enthusiasm omg

I am in an angsty feelsy sort of mood so consider: poor boy gets badly beaten up and maybe is on verge of death by some incredibly strong opponent but... little lamb was told to stay back like always in a safe spot from a distance... but she can’t just stand there!! 

Visionless, powerless, weak and frail little lamb sniffling in fear and anger with her ears flat to her head, running to come stand in between giant powerful being and him, trembling and bleating but standing her ground and curling her little hands into fists and yelling that she won’t let them hurt her master!! If they want to get to him, they have to go through her first!! She knows that she can’t do anything other than be a meat shield and ram with those teeny tiny little nubs she calls horns, but still... it’s something, isn’t it?

Thankfully though the utter confusion that makes the enemy halt for a split second gives the incoming Fatui enough time to oneshot the enemy lmao. She just narrowly saves master’s life and is so happy!! He’s super quiet. Doesn’t say anything for a while. Just numbly staring into space, in a weird state of processing that this pitifully dumb thing nearly got herself killed on purpose. Probably actually ends up blowing a fuse later and gets mad, it was stupid and dangerous and to never ever do it again.

In the end though, he quiets down when she gets all sniffly and sorry because she thought she did good. Has to hold her and rub her back and admit yes, maybe it was good. Just... not to be done again.

[stephreynaart]

Gravity Falls - “Waiting”

Pop-Pop AU

Stan sits in a hospital waiting room, thinking about his life and the people he loves.

- - - -

This is kinda old, but I realized I never posted it on tumblr. Hope ya like it!

Lots of fluff, the only ships are Soos and Melody.

AO3 LINK

- - - -

It had a square aspect ratio. Ink pen and watercolor on white heat pressed cotton paper in a bland white frame. One single blue flower in a red vase with what looks like a yellowish shadow. One shadow going left, the other going right. The lack of confidence and inexperience was obvious, the lines were unfocused and jagged, the color plainly filled the shapes and gave no other visual interest to the image.

Below the frame was a small white card that read “Painting donated by Jessica Blaise from Gravity Falls Elementary School”

Stan scanned the painting at least 20 times while sitting in that chair. The too rough and too soft at the same time chair that had similar copies populating the almost white room he sat in. The wallpaper bouncing off light pinks and blues with tiny ducklings as a makeshift wainscoting was starting to irritate the old man. It was too bright, and the consistent buzz of the fluorescent lights seemed so loud. Stan adjusted himself in his chair, switching his crossed legs to a wider spread and leaned his head against the wall.

The only other stimulus in the room were a few posters promoting proper hand washing techniques, the play area with a small table and chairs with large blocks, crayons and that weird “game” with the metal wiring and wooden beads that’s in every waiting room Stan’s ever sat in. He played with the toys to give himself something to do after he read all the magazines. The novelty wore off fast.

The television mounted on the wall was airing some cooking channel with no sound and no subtitles. Looking at food when you haven’t eaten in a few hours was practically torture, so Stan had been averting his eyes.

There were other paintings on the wall, one was less of a painting, but instead a print of a painting. He doubted that the artist got any compensation from it, if they were still alive. The other was a charcoal drawing done by a student from the community college a town away. Another square, but the entire image was black, the brightest thing on the page was an intruding infant hand coming from the left with the arm fading into the dark background. The fingers seemingly mid-twitch and grabbing at something. The lighting was dynamic and interesting. Stan swore it was a drawing of a penis the first time he glanced at it, which resulted in his brother’s laughter. Stanley smiled at the memory, it was only a few hours ago, but he relishes any time he can make Stanford laugh.

Stan’s eyes darted at the door in the far corner when it opened suddenly. He eased back into his chair when the nurse crossed the room to talk with the receptionist. He couldn’t hear the conversation very well, but could tell they were just gossiping and making jokes. Nothing that was of his interest. So he looked back to the elementary school child’s painting and analyzed it again. His eyes were dry and he was tired. He wished he could sleep, the chair wasn’t comfortable enough and when he did managed to sleep, his neck was sore when he woke up. He was only lucky Ford let him use his shoulder as a pillow for a while. He looked to his left and noted the book his brother placed in the seat. It seemed thick and in what looked like Hebrew. Stan wasn’t very surprised Ford was fluent in the language they were acquainted with as children. Their grandparents on their father’s side were the last to be fully fluent in Hebrew. It was like his brother to be curious of their heritage, but Stan only remembered a few phrases and words he learned from holidays and special event when he had to recite anything in Temple.

Stan crossed his arms and glanced at the clock on the wall and let out an exasperated sigh. It had only been 10 minutes since he last checked the time. He wanted to be at home, be in his soft warm bed and getting ready to eat pancakes at this time in the morning.

He and Ford were on the porch of The Mystery Shack when Soos rushed them off to the hospital the yesterday afternoon. What he originally thought would be a couple of hours of waiting turned into almost twelve. Apparently labour can last a long time.

Stan wished he could be a witness for Soos and Melody like he was when Dipper and Mabel were born, but Melody wanted her privacy, which Stan could respect, but Soos wanted him there…..so he and Ford waited in this bright, annoyingly pastel waiting room, twiddling his thumbs awaiting the arrival of the new member of the mystery family. He was glad he was in at least comfortable clothes, some gray sweatpants and a sweater Mabel knitted for him that read “godfather”.

He was never clear on what the title entailed, but it was mentioned a few times by Soos’ grandmother and the kids insisted that Soos was intending to ask him. He hadn’t, but he didn’t protest Stan wearing the sweater. Whatever job godfathers had, he was willing to play the part if Soos were to ask him.

Stan looked at the double doors a few feet away that lead out of the waiting room and into the halls. His brother left to find something for them to eat, but was taking his sweet time. The turkey being basted on the television was no help in aiding his growling stomach.

He distracted himself by returning his thoughts to Soos and Melody. Just down the hall they were experiencing the strange and beautiful phenomenon that was witnessing the arrival of a brand new person. Stan remembered the feeling so clearly. His entire life he’s felt the presence of human beings. It’s inherent in most people to feel when someone is in the room with you, the other soul sharing the same space as you. Imagine being in a room with a set amount of people and someone else comes in, but imagine they came in without using a doorway. Just appearing seemingly out of thin air. Suddenly another person is with you, and they’re brand new to the world, a life full of potential and power. Yes, today is indeed a happy day, but no amount of positive thinking would ease Stan’s nerves. His foot began to bounce and his hands unconsciously began to fiddle with each other. He didn’t want to think anything would go wrong with Soos’ baby, but anything can happen and life is so fragile, especially at the start of it.

He recalled his nephew’s nervousness the day Dipper and Mabel were born. His hands were shaking and he was constantly checking on his wife and asking the doctors loads of questions. He didn’t fully understand the twins’ father’s behavior until the end of that day.

Mabel’s birth was swift and easy. Her mother only needed to push one and a half times before she was here. It was as if she was eager to meet everyone waiting for her. She cried like most babies do, but Stan could’ve sworn they were tears of joy. While Mabel was greeted with, “hello, beautiful”, “hi, sweetie” and “she’s perfect”, Her brother’s introduction to world started with, “what’s wrong?”, “wait, let me hold him”, and “he’s not moving”. Dipper was rushed out of the room before his mother got a chance to look at him. Stan managed to catch a glimpse of the horrifyingly blue tint on his great nephew’s tiny face. The memory still gave him chills. He remembered how much he wanted to hold Mabel, who began to fuss and cry, obviously missing her brother. He was terrified at the prospect of another incomplete set of twins in their family. After the longest 30 minute of his life, Stan’s great-nephew returned with a bright pink face, wailing with all the power his little lungs could produce. Once the twins were reunited in their mother’s arms, they settled down almost instantly. The doctors told their parents Dipper was significantly lighter in weight than his sister, but both were very strong and healthy. Every so often Stan thinks about Dipper and how much he has impacted his life. His thoughts lead to darker places and he questions if Ford would be here if Dipper wasn’t there to find the third journal. He shook his head as a cold shiver went up his spine.

Stan did his best to distract himself from revisiting the scare that Dipper caused him 16 years ago.

16 years…..17 in August

Stan blinked. The squishy, bright faces that stayed with him that first summer had changed significantly. They stayed in contact all year round and visited every summer since they were 12. But every in-person meeting was always a shock. Dipper was developing the square jaw Stan, both his brothers and nephew shared. He started to regularly wear glasses their second summer with the Stans. Poor kid will grow up looking like Filbrick like the rest of the Pines men. He reminded Stan of Ford at that age.

And Mabel…..

Stan will never get over how much she looks like his mother. It didn’t strike him until Soos and Melody’s wedding and she put her hair in a bun. She’s calmed her hyperactivity down a bit, but not by a lot, she still brightens his day with her wit and creativity. They’ve both matured physically, but not much has changed personality wise and they still acted like big children when they’re around each other. Stan loved them very much, and wished he could see them more often. He wondered what the future held for all of them. Would they still visit town after going to college? Would they move here? Or somewhere else?

He’s had several conversations with them to see how they’re managing the prospect of separating. They’re much better at communicating than he and Ford were and they seem actually excited to have some independence. It made Stan nervous, but he was sure their close relationship wouldn’t suffer.

Wendy chose to be elsewhere for the next few years. She and her friends booked a plane ticket and plan to backpack and hitchhike around Europe and the UK. Stan hopes they stay safe and watch out for each other. Lotta weirdos in Amsterdam. She was set to leave in the coming days, Wendy wanted to wait until today arrived so she could meet Soos and Melody’s kid before going away for who knows how long.

A tap on the shoulder woke Stan from his deep thoughts. His brother arrived with some warm sub sandwiches and coffee.

“Any word yet?, he asked Stan

“Nothin’ yet”, Stan felt helpless not having any clue how Soos and Melody were doing.

Stanford took his seat next to Stanley and they both silently enjoyed their late breakfast. Since arriving they’ve witnessed families reuniting and going past the door in the far corner to meet their children, grandchildren or siblings. Stan looked at the clock again. How has it only been another 5 minutes? He sighed, leaned back and finished the rest of his sub. One hand holding the sandwich, the other went back to gripping the arm rest, then a six fingered hand went down to rest on top of it. Stan let go of the armrest and tangled his fingers between Ford’s and held onto it with a, hopefully not too tight, grip. It was like an anchor to reality, much better at easing his anxieties than any words could. Over the past 4 years, Stan and Ford’s bond grew stronger. Stan still feared one day he would wake up and find himself still in that basement surrounded by broken machinery and languages he didn’t understand. He hasn’t yet, and was enjoying the time he had left with his twin. Stan took a moment to look at his brother again, Ford made eye contact and smiled then continued to read his book. Hands still intertwined

Stans thoughts went back to Soos…

It amazed Stan how much he had grown and it still baffled him that Soos idolized him as much as he does. Before Soos, Stan had no one. His brother was….gone, the rest of the family didn’t talk to him much outside of the holidays and special occasion. There hadn’t been any sense of consistency in Stan’s life for years, decades even, until he hired the chubby little kid he barely glanced at one random Saturday. Soos always arrived to work early, sometimes with breakfast for both of them. Stan didn’t know how much he needed a reliable companion until he had it and he enjoyed the 10 years he had with that kid… or man he should say. Here he was…a few rooms away, becoming a father.

Stan used to daydream a lot about the prospect of having kids when he was younger. He’s was always good with them when he had the chance to babysit his nephew, then later Dipper and Mabel when they were toddlers. He loved having kids in his house that first summer. He loved the energy and the sense of adventure the twins brought. They gave him a sense of purpose and belonging he hadn’t felt in years. He wished he was brave enough to have his own children. Not that he was ever with anyone long enough to want to have kids with him. He supposed it was for the best that he didn’t subject a child to homelessness or an unhappy marriage. He was also terrified at the idea. His dad used to say having kids ruined his life. He wondered who his father was before his older brother was born. Did they really ruin his life? Stan often wondered if he would be like his own dad if he has children of his own. Would he change and become that annoyed parent that resenting his children?

He thought about Soos again

That was probably the closest to parenthood he ever experienced. The first time he felt like one was when Soos asked him for homework help after closing. He initially told Soos no, he wasn’t exactly smart and didn’t think he would be any help. It apparently upset the kid, so Stan sighed and gave it a try. It was fairly simple middle school math, he didn’t remember everything, but helped Soos do more than half of it. Soos thanked him and went home happy. Stan felt weirdly proud, he was glad he made a small difference and managed to teach Soos something he didn’t even know he knew.

The second time was when Soos was a teenager. His grandmother wasn’t able to teach Soos to drive, since she had forgotten how and her late husband used to do the driving, she mostly walked everywhere. Soos offered to work for free so Stan could teach him. Stan loved driving and found teaching Soos cathartic. He was a fast and eager learner, he only bumped Stan’s car once while trying to figure out parallel parking. Little did Soos know that he was getting paid for his normal work hours. Stan just put it away long enough to help buy the kid some old used truck in the junkyard for getting his license. They fixed the truck up and in only a few weeks it was ready to be on the road. Soos has taken good care of it and it’s still his ride to this day

Stan was very proud of Soos. He taught the kid some basic self defense and managed to be a decent influence in his life. Soos at least has his priorities straight.

Stan was even glad to see that Soos was willing to question him. When the portal was reaching the final countdown, he didn’t hesitate to protect the kids from him when he thought Stan was dangerous. He didn’t know, none of them did, so he didn’t blame Soos for distrusting him. He hoped he never had to betray him again. They both had crappy dads, and Stan knew how Soos saw him. Stan was never really sure if he reciprocated those feelings. It felt natural to act the part, but to put a label as important as “dad” on Stan was daunting. Soos definitely deserves better than what he was given, Stan wasn’t sure if he was it.

Stan looked up at the familiar voices running towards him from the double doors.

“Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Ford!” Mabel waved to them

The two teenagers and Wendy walked in holding a balloon and various toys. They took some seats across from the Stans and asked how everyone was doing and if the baby arrived yet.

“Not yet, hopefully soon” Ford answered

Stan relaxed and silently enjoyed his family’s company. He laid his head back and leaned slightly on Ford to rest for a minute. His eyes shut as he listened to the kids joke around and talk amongst themselves. He squeezed Ford’s hand one more time before drifting off.

He knew he should’ve tried sleeping earlier, he wasn’t out for more than 15 minutes when Soos came into the waiting room. Stan’s eyes shot open and he was on his feet faster than he did when he was being chased by angry costumers as a door to door salesman. Soos’ red eyes sagged and he seemed exhausted, but carried a proud, wide smile across his face. He sniffed and wiped his eyes.

“It’s a boy”, he squeaked, “mom and baby are okay”

Dipper and Mabel were first to start the hugs, and the room filled with cheers of congratulations and love. Stan felt light as a feather giving Soos a hug and joking about child labor.

“Can we see him?”, Mabel bounced with anticipation

“Yeah, dudes!”, Soos gestured everyone past the corner door and into the suite. “But only for a little while, Melody has to sleep”

The room was small, dimly lit and warm. The Pines crew collectively lowered their voices as Melody came into view on the bedding holding a bundle of blankets decorated with small yellow ducklings. She was leaned back on a large pillow, covered in blankets and toted a soft smile on her face. Soos stroked her hair and picked up his little son to show to the Pines’. The younger twins got a look at him first,

Mabel squealed and cooed at the tiny infant. Then Wendy, who said hi to the baby and told Soos she’d make sure to send him gifts while she was away

“What’s his name?”, Mabel asked Melody

“I named him after my dad”, Melody replied, “Jacob”. She smiled sadly at the memory of the father she lost the year before.

Soos approached the Stans, Ford smiled and complimented the couple on a having such beautiful little boy, but shot Soos a look, who silently replied with another one. Something was up.

Finally Stan got a look at baby Jacob. “Wow” Stan smiled, patting Soos’ arm. “He looks exactly like you”

Soos laughed, “really? I think he looks like Melody”, there was a short silence before Soos spoke up again.

“Do you want to hold him, Mr Pines?”

Stan looked at Soos and smiled, “heh, sure”. He held his arms out. Soos lowered his arms to pass the baby to Stan, who scrunched his face up and started to fuss. Stan took the infant and managed to hold him with one arm. He bounced and shushed little Jacob until he calmed down. “Heya kid”, He’s held babies dozens of times, but something felt different about this one. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but Stan felt an almost magnetic pull towards him. Jacob settled comfortably against Stan and continued his rest. Stan softly beamed at the tiny person in his arms.

“Hey, Stan?”

Stan lifted an eyebrow and looked at Soos, who was fidgeting with his hands and nervously smiling.

“Uh..”, he paused, taking in the sight of Stan holding his child. “You know about my dad”, Soos looked at Ford again, who shrugged and nodded. Stan studied Ford’s face, who’s eyes strayed away as he hid a small smile. Soos got his attention again.

“You uh…he wasn’t…”, Soos choked up, his voice strained a bit, “I met you when I was probably the loneliest I ever was in my entire life”. Stan pictured the little boy he hired on the spot, he didn’t remember him until Soos showed up at his door step the next day ready to work. He didn’t know how much that quick, thoughtless decision would change his life.

Soos perked up and walked across the room to a table and picked up the piece of paper sitting on it. Soos glanced at it, then at Stan and smiled, gaining some emotional strength it seemed.

“You mean a lot me”, Soos, “you were there when I really needed it, you gave me a job, taught me just about everything I know. I don’t think I ever thanked you for that”

Stan got a bit nervous, Was this him asking to be the godfather?Everyone was silent and curiously watching. Soos held his hand out and handed the paper to Stan. He adjusted his arm to properly hold Jacob in his arm and took it. Stan flipped the page and noticed it was the baby’s birth certificate. Stan eyes bounced off the page and read the various information: birthdate, weight, parents, but he froze when he read the full name. Stan’s wide eyes questioningly studied Soos’ face.

“Are you…”, Stan felt his own throat tightening, crap. Come on, not in front of everyone “really?”, he asked. Soos gave a genuine nod and sniffed.

“I uh” Soos cleared his throat, “I was wondering, since Jacob doesn’t have one…if you wanted to be…. his grandpa?

There it was

Stan felt dizzy and took a small step back before remembering who was in his hands and regained his balance. Ford came to his side and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Stan decide not to look at his brother and chose to stare forward, then his eyes went back to Soos, who look deflated. Oh man. Stan was terrified, he didn’t want to say no and hurt Soos, but if he said yes….he wasn’t sure what made him so nervous. The entire concept sounded so alien to him, like he didn’t deserve the title. He always considered Soos, Melody and their son a part of his family. But to bare a title like “grandpa”, had to mean he had children that that children. That he was already a parent without his knowledge. It all felt so natural to want to lean into this and become part of this family like Soos wanted.

He heard something make a noise from beneath himself. Stan looked down at little Jacob, who was mid yawn. The baby’s mouth grew wide opens and inhaled, scrunching up his face and suddenly shut. Suddenly two tiny eyes opened for just a few seconds, enough time for Stan to make eye contact before Jacob shut them and got comfortable again

Everything was different now.

Stan didn’t notice how quiet the room had gotten nor the tears forming in his eyes. Stunned by beauty and overcome with pride and a sense of purpose. The pride he felt teaching Soos math, how to drive and attending his graduation all combined just looking at the perfect being in his arms. If he said yes, he would want everything that came with it. Stan lifted the birth certificate up to read the name again.

Jacob Stanley Ramirez

“Y-Yes”, he heard a shaken voice say, almost not realizing it was his own “of course”. He looked at Soos, tears in his eyes and a bright smile on his face. He still wasn’t sure if he deserved this, but Stan wanted it. He wanted it all. Why not indulge just this once? He gave the certificate to Ford and used his now free hand to pull Soos into a hug. Gently sandwiching his…..grandson in between him……and his son.

[electricbluebutterflies]

mundane worries

Pre-series Marc/Layla is a happy place right now so here we are. PG-ish and also on ao3.

Prompt - sleeping with their head in your lap (thank you as always @apple-grass-and-smiles)

The thing is, she usually does vulnerability better.

A few years in, this is one of the things Layla struggles with, the idea that at least her various – existent, valid, in-progress – emotional issues fit in a backpack whereas her partner has a whole matching set of luggage with the locks still on and the keys probably at the bottom of the ocean. The idea that, to her great surprise, she is the less messed-up person here by a bit and those fears she once had about being the sort of girl who’d attract fixer types are so wildly inaccurate and…

She’d never thought she’d meet someone who matches her occasional chaos level so well, but here they are, on the tail end of another round of this is why she kinda hates when their respective professional lives overlap because that has never ever ended anywhere she wanted to go and there’s no one else in the world she’d rather do it with.

They’re on a train heading up across France, a strange location for both of them but taking the long way home had made a certain amount of sense, and the incident is basically over and she can’t imagine anything else will go sideways this week, and in a few hours they’ll be in Paris and her world will be dominant for a day or two and the phrase “this is my husband” will be the most common thing she says to people who actually know her and she’s already braced for all the comments about how she’s too young and he’s clearly not in their line of work so what does he do and-

These are the thoughts that keep her too awake, the kind of mundane worries that she’s thankful for after the week they’ve had. They are still too public but in a safe way, a people-would-notice-if-something-got-weird way, and that is rest enough for her for now until she gets to collapse on a hotel bed. She has low standards but she can justify somewhere nicer for a night, how well she ultimately did on this project combining with what it took to make that happen and-

Marc is asleep, or at least she’s assuming he is. He’s in a logical position for it, and he hasn’t talked in over an hour, which is… unusual, when they’re in the same space and not trying to avoid getting murdered or dealing with the latest consequences of his actions or-

For once, Layla can’t directly blame the cosmic vulture she’s known about for six months for things going sideways, but she can easily blame it for the current state of her lover. There are questions she doesn’t ask about these things, the limits of that power. Does he even feel pain? What happened two days ago… the fact that it would’ve killed a normal person is obvious enough, that’s not a necessary conversation, but did any of it register with his body, even for a moment? She knows there won’t be marks next time she sees his skin, there never are and that bothers her, but she wonders if those moments feel like anything at all and-

It doesn’t matter. Right now they are safe, right now he is at least motionless with his head on a balled-up jacket on her lap and her hands in his hair because she needs tethering too. She won’t ask. She never does. Maybe that’s why they work so well, because she’s already accepted there are limits to her world and it is easier for her to be safe, to not question what she sees and to not ask about what she hasn’t. To talk comfortably about her own pain, when she has it and when it matters, and make that enough for the both of them.

Two more hours to Paris. Three until she has to have a good story for where the objects in her backpack came from, a polite fiction a few different contacts of hers will believe just enough to take them off her hands. Six or seven, probably, until her own tired body melts into a too-soft hotel mattress.

Right now, she will live vicariously how she can.

[phoenixyfriend]

Re; Ahsoka and Quinlan being the same age, now I'm picturing Ahsoka, Quinlan, and Rex eventually ending up in a weird sorta thruple where Quinlan comes in and out of the relationship but the door is kinda always open for him? And Rex spends a lot of mornings eyeing the tangle of orange and brown skin on the other side of the bed like he has no idea how he ended up here but he's (mostly) okay with that tbh

Context: Commander Buir in chronological order

YES okay so this is wild to me that people are invested in this but like half the time-travel fics with Ahsoka in the same age-group as Quinlan have me wondering if I should ship them. Let me just. Ho shit.

So, okay, I've explored a lot of possible dynamics but there's something really engaging about how Quinlan, trained as a Shadow before the Sith came back, could react to a War Padawan. Ahsoka isn't really infiltration material yet, she's very much a frontline fighter, but she's got a lot more experience with a kind of consistent dark atmosphere that most Jedi don't. They get exposed to plenty of dark stuff, sure, but not the kind of all-encompassing "this is my life for the last two years" thing that is usually reserved for the long-term field agents like Shadows and Watchmen.

The War Padawans, for all that they were supposed to be just normal Jedi Padawans, were living in the kind of consistently negative environment that's normally experienced by those Knighted Sentinels.

So Ahsoka, while still generally pretty young in these AUs, is a very odd kind of person to be around, because she's spunky and vivacious and snippy and affectionate and snarky and knows how to break every bone in your body from harrowing experience as the only thing standing between death and thousands of brothers.

And Quinlan, I imagine, really likes that about her. She gets it, and she's still an energetic and loving and trying to do her best to be a good person despite everything. He gravitates towards her and she... well, she's not blind. She can tell he's interested. And she's not upset about that.

ANYWAY, ONTO REX

So, Rex is... technically twelve. He hasn't exactly got a whole lot of experience with romance. He is also, up until the point of time-travel, legal property of the Senate and the Jedi Order, which means that Ahsoka, or at least her community, owns him. He was indoctrinated to serve her and that community. She also outranks him, for all that she usually lets him take the lead in the field due to experience. He's older than her physically and maturity-wise, but she's also had a grow-up-faster-than-you-should adolescence, and she has superpowers.

What I'm saying is, the power dynamic is fucked up.

(Unironically I spent hours last night realizing that it balances out a lot more than C*dywan does, which I'm censoring because by god do I not want discourse on this post. I like both ships, and don't want to argue about what's the most problematic. It's Star Wars. The only unproblematic ships are Bail/Breha and Owen/Beru.)

Here's the thing, though, because the main thing people seem to argue here is the age/maturity difference as a problem area:

The age difference in actual time is four years, which is smaller than the two main ships of the franchise (Han/Leia and Padme/Anakin, to be clear). The age difference in maturity is ??? We'll say that the clones started aging normally after they hit twenty, so the age difference in maturity is six years... which is still normal for SW ships.

(This is why I don't have any issues with the ship in a post-O66 context, once they've had a few years to move past the traumas and whatnot. The age stuff all evens out with time, they're a good team, and neither was grooming the other. It's not objectively any more problematic than most SW ships at that point, and I'm okay with that. They deserve to be happy if they want.)

But they get yanked away from all that structure of who owns what, who reports where, who has which rank, who's legally a person in the eyes of the Republic when they end up on Dagobah. Once they've registered when they are, the only remaining complications are:

He grew up in a cultlike environment and was indoctrinated to serve her (but has been replacing that indoctrination with genuine respect and affection for her as a person because they've worked together for two years).

She has superpowers (contextually not a big problem: we see several Force-Sensitive/Non-Sensitive ships that don't consider those powers a complicating element)

He's several years younger than her (canonically less of an issue than it could be: Cut got married and has kids) and has next to no experience with what a normal romance looks like except for hanging out on the edges of whatever the fuck his General has going on with the Senator

She's several years less mature than he is (...something of an issue)

So a lot of this is mostly okay. She feels weird about the fact that she's got more knowledge of romance and all that it entails. He feels weird about the fact that, despite her being older, he looks at her and sees someone that's still a little young, not quite a shiny. Except she is older than him, and he's seen her behead four people in a single move, and they've saved each other's lives more times than either of them can count anymore. He respects her, and the fact that she's babyfaced doesn't change the fact that, in terms of who they are as people and warriors, they're on a level playing field.

She still looks at him and mourns his lost childhood, and he still looks at her and takes a moment to see past the too-big eyes and adolescent proportions.

But they really, really care about each other, and maybe part of them is starting to recognize that there's a bit of a crush before they time-travel, but neither one wants to make a move. There's a lot of baggage on both sides, a lot of "but they're a child" and "but they're (literally vs functionally) below me in the chain of command, I can't take advantage of that" and all that fun stuff. It's the kind of situation where two people circle each other for ages without making a move, because actually making that move is terrifying on account of not knowing whether the other party knows they can say no, on top of the usual "what if it ruins our friendship?" thing.

What happens on Dagobah, though... is very tropey. They're sort of stranded until Ahsoka can fix the ship, and that takes time. The area is also very heavy with the Force, dense and heady with the energy it carries, and it's... actually really not great for Ahsoka. She keeps feeling like she's back on Mortis, and has nightmares from the trigger there, but also keeps hallucinating because she wasn't ready for the thickness of the energy (like Yoda) or still new enough to the Force that she couldn't feel how dense it all was (like Luke). She can't work on the engines as constantly as she'd like to get them out of there, and while Rex is a competent mechanic, he's not as skilled with it as the girl who jumped headfirst into lessons with Anakin.

Rex spends a lot of time holding Ahsoka and wiping her brow with a wet cloth while she's feverish and out of it. Yes we're going full Florence Nightingale romance here, let me have my fun.

They get the communications relay working earlier than the engine, find out the year is wrong, panic a bit. All is well. (It's not, but they're holding it together for now.)

Ahsoka keeps working on the engine when she's lucid. Rex keeps hunting up game and edible plants for them while she does. They cuddle at night, because it's not cold but it is empty of the people they care about, and they kind of want that reassurance of someone they trust and love at their back.

(Morai visits.)

(Daughter shows up in the nightmares, tells Ahsoka that age will not come for her beloved until the time is natural for it. The phrasing is dumb but she does manage to convey that the accelerated aging is no longer an issue, if it even was after they hit adulthood. Ahsoka is relieved.)

And, you know, emotions happen. She takes his hand while they're leaning up against each other. He kisses her forehead while she's having a bad spell. They cook together and tell jokes to keep sane and spar. They hug each other through nightmares and panic attacks. There is much blushing. There is much cuddling.

Once, they kiss.

They break apart, flushing and stammering and being very awkward about the whole thing, and make excuses to leave and panic about the fact that they!! Kissed!!!!!

A couple hours later they find each other again, and have a long and complicated discussion about why they like each other (war makes bedfellows, there's trust and affection and all that fun stuff) and why they're hesitant (age stuff, maturity stuff, prior indoctrination), and make the decision to take it slow. They cuddle, and kiss, and blush a lot because both of them are basically just dumb teens having their first real relationship.

They eventually leave the planet, make it to Coruscant, etc. It takes a bit for anyone except Obi-Wan to realize that something's changed between them. Most people didn't know them before, and Anakin's observation skills are currently at a very low ebb. But they sit together and hold hands, and flirt when they spar, and once or twice people find them kissing (both standard and Keldabe) in a corner while holding hands and then just smiling at each other like loons.

They end up rooming together because nobody has the heart to separate them after hearing about all the war stuff. Like yes attachment's bad, but these two do seem to understand loss of loved ones and recognize that they could lose each other at any time and death is natural and they won't lose their entire shit about it, and if even General Kenobi is anxious as hell about being separated from the people he fought side-by-side with for two years, then maybe it's just... really normal for those two to want each other's company, and everyone can just turn a blind eye to the romance happening.

They share a bed, but they only ever sleep in it. Like, there's some goodnight kisses and cuddles, but everything is very G-rated until they've had time to settle into being true equals instead of just the "well, I guess the power dynamics balance out? Maybe?" of before.

And just... yeah. Rex does not believe that he's in this good of a position whenever he has the time to think about it. He's got a girlfriend! A really pretty, smart, strong, skilled one! Who thinks he's a cool dude! How the fuck did a clone like him manage that? He wasn't even legally a person a year ago, how did he end up in bed with one of the most amazing people he's ever met? He spends multiple nights just staring at her while he tries to fall asleep, asking himself how he got here and just like... marveling at her. She's worth marveling at. He's in love and she's amazing and he has no idea how to handle it at all.

...yeah no I have a lot of feelings now.

[sunnysunoo]

Love Letters ; Sim Jake

Pairing: Jake X Reader

warnings: explicit language and cursing

word count: 3k words

genre: friends to lovers au! fluff with tiny pieces of crack lmao

Jake was always known for being this perfect guy in school. I mean, they're not wrong. They always described him as if he's this walking piece of art in the hallways. People would stop to just stare at him. You'd stare at him all day too, but you set priorities first: writing him love letters.

You're no Lara Jean, but I guess you can say that she's what inspired you to write Jake letters. Who needs Peter Kavinsky when Jake Shim exists anyways?

note: Not me completely disappearing off of tumblr for like months and then showing up again suddenly lol. I got really busy the past few months since I was completing requirements for school, and I really didn't have the motivation to do anything at the time so I took so time off to take care of myself first so I hope you understand :) But now since it's summer break, I am given at least 2 more months until I go back to school in August :)) Here's the long-awaited Jake imagine that I completely forgot about lmao hope you enjoy <3

P.S I finished writing this at 1:26 am so please excuse the really shitty plot and grammar ill rewrite it once i wake up

tag list: @cha-raena ( sorry for the rlly late post bestie )

Dear Jake, First of all, I will never call you Jaeyun because calling you by your English name makes me feel like I'm your friend. Calling you by your Korean name makes us feel like we're cold strangers to one another and I don't want that. I want us to be something more than that, but it's hard when you don't even know who I am. I'm surprised how you don't grow tired of me just dropping letters right into your locker every time you open it, and that's one of the things I love about you. You don't just throw away people's efforts and you treasure them with care. It makes my heart beat so fast as if I ran miles away from here.

We're already one year left until we graduate high school, and I don't want to end my high school years without you realizing my feelings for you. I know for sure that you would never reciprocate the feelings that I have towards you, so I want to treat this as closure in case we do forget about each other in the future. Yours truly,

Moon

__

"How is this person not over you? That's like the tenth one this month," Jay said, looking over Jake as he reads the letter from his secret admirer. Jake has always been receiving these letters from the same person everyday for the past four months. He's thankful for the letters because they definitely make his day better, knowing that there's someone out there who loves him as who he is regardless of looks. He's not gonna lie that these little notes and letters make his heart race too. "Do you have any plans with finding the person behind the letters?" Jay asked as he watches his best friend trying to hide the small smile that's been growing. No one really knows who this mysterious person is and why they decided to name themselves the moon, but we don't judge anyone in here. If they want to be the moon in their next life, then so be it. "I really want to find the person who's making these letters," Jake shoved the letter in his backpack, trying to not wrinkle it. "But I don't know where to start." "Who's finding who?" A voice popped suddenly beside the presence of the two boys. You leaned beside the locker beside Jake's, watching him as he grabs his books from his locker. "Did Moon drop your daily letter today again?" "They did as usual," Jake wasn't even surprised. He would expect the letters every time he enters the school in the morning. He would open his locker to see the usual small letter placed inside his locker. He usually arrives at seven or earlier, but he's surprised that he could never even catch a glance of this anonymous sender around the campus. "Should I go to school at five in the morning?" "Five in the morning? Isn't that a bit too early?" You questioned, followed by a shaky breath. "The school doesn't even open until six." "I could just walk to that nearby convenience store I always pass by to grab a coffee." He argues, closing his locker shut before walking towards his classroom.

You and Jay followed beside him, and you sneered under your breath, "You don't even wake up to your alarm clock."

"Why don't you even want me to go early anyway?" He glances as you try to give him an answer. But before you could say something, Jay replies first.

"You’re probably hiding something." He said. You rolled your eyes and narrowed your eyes at him. "You are so weird." You grunted, before walking ahead of them. You feel panicked because you were scared that you made yourself obvious to them.

__

You were inside your classroom sitting on your desk. There were only fifteen minutes left before lunch, but you had eaten your packed meal before instead of going to your school cafeteria. You were fidgeting in your place, conflicted about Jake finding his secret admirer, not knowing that it was you who's been sending him letters the past few months. You're not scared of him finding out that the letters were from you; that was the entire reason why you wrote him letters in the first place. You're scared of how he was gonna confront you about it. Would he like you back? Would he hate you? Would he avoid you?

Your mind was full of scenarios but you were suddenly brought back to reality when a hand planted itself on your desk. You look up and saw Jay standing in front of you, eating sushi with his other hand. His face kinda looks like he knows something, and it's freaking you out a bit.

"What?" You asked, suddenly flustered over how his eyes stared right into you. He took the seat in front of your desk and flipped it so it was facing you. He sat down and blurted the phrase that you were dreading to hear from anyone.

"So, you like Jake?"

You suddenly feel like punching him in the face with his sushi.

"What??" Your body felt like, and you were left a nervous mess. Your heart like it was going to pump right out of your chest any minute, and your hands started to sweat.

Jay's mouth formed into a smirk. He caught you. "Jake may be a bit oblivious, but I can totally see right through you."

“Haha...no you don’t,” You tried to deny, but it was all useless when his expression looked unconvinced.

“Oh yeah? Then why are you all red? You look like a bursting tomato.”

“You don’t know that," You leaned further into your seat, playing with the strings of your hoodie.

“C’mon Y/N, you’re not even trying. Just give up and admit it,” Jay was trying to help you confess your feelings for Jake. Frankly, he knew it was you sending him letters this whole time—how can Jake not see it?

With a heavy sigh, you slumped and laid your head on your desk, embarrassed. “Fine. I like him, okay? Are you happy now?”

The smirk on his face grew wider, feeling proud of himself. You are not dealing with his annoying crap this early in the morning. He grinned and munched on his half-eaten sushi. “I knew it.”

“Congratulations,” It was muffled because you hid your red face away from him. All that was on your mind now was how you could book yourself a flight all the way across the world.

“But seriously, since when did you have a crush on him?” You raised your head to face him, giving him a look that could kill, except Jay finds it entertaining rather than intimidating.

“I started having a crush on him when we were in fifth grade. It was at a friend's birthday party, and he saw me being all quiet and lonely. Honestly, I forgot who’s birthday that was.” You told him the very first time you had discovered feelings.

“He saw how sad I looked so he accompanied me the whole time. He was even trying to feel more included in the games and stuff.” You felt a smile ghosting on your lips as you can still vividly remember how you felt your heart tug the first time. “It was kinda like I fell in love at first sight.”

Jay faked a gag, so you lightly punched him in the shoulder. He may be a bit of an asshole, but he’s one the most caring and kind people you’ve ever met. It honestly felt good spilling out your feelings about Jake to him.

Speaking of, Jake was watching you two play around and laugh at Jay's little jokes from outside, and he felt something burning from inside him. Was it that he felt jealous of you and Jay?

No, he can’t be...right?

Maybe it was because of how he felt separated from you and Jay because of him being a separate class.

Yeah, maybe it's because of that.

__

Dear Jake,

I just had the most bizarre day today, and I felt like telling you about it.

It was chemistry period, and we had to be partnered with someone for a lab project. I ended up getting paired with Yeojin. We kinda created this unexpected friendship, which I love. We would crack jokes at each other, tell funny stories, it was so fun to be with her that we had completely forgotten about our project. So now, we both got a detention slip for making an accidental explosion.

How about you? How was your day? I hope it was just as fun as mine. If you feel like the day just wasn't as happy or you're feeling down, just now that it's okay to feel that way because days like these just lasts for 24 hours. It will be all over before you know it and you'll be greeted by another day. Maybe it will be different, and you would be all happy again just like how my day went. Maybe being with you would be my happiest day yet, and I couldn't wait for that day to come. See you soon :)

Love,

Moon

__

"Yeojin!" Jake called, seeing her walk down the opposite way. "Hey, mind if I ask you something?"

"Hey Jake," She greeted him with a smile. "Sure, go ahead."

"Could you perhaps give me any information about your partner in Chemistry?" He had hopes of getting any kind of description about his mysterious sender, but he was instead given a sad frown on Yeojin's face.

"Sorry Jake, but that person told me not to tell you about their information." She gave an apologetic smile. "I wish you all the best in finding them!"

Jake muttered a small "okay," and sighed before walking away, feeling defeated.

Yeojin knew that he was gonna ask about Moon the moment he called her from across the hall. She couldn't wait to tell you about this.

__

"Hey Y/N," A voice said from behind. You turned around to see Jake with his backup hung on his shoulder. He brought his hand up and raked his hair, and you felt your face grow red. Jake is like a gift from the gods. How can someone look so ethereal even if they're just standing there? You could stare at him all day. You couldn't even understand a thing he said until he started waving his hands in front of you.

"Hello?" You blinked multiple times as you were brought back out to reality. You saw Jake's face grow into concern. "Are you okay? spaced out."

"O-oh..No, I'm completely fine." You reassured him, feeling embarrassed. "What were you saying again?"

"I was asking you if you wanted to go to school with me early tomorrow."

Well, shit.

Your eyes started to go wide, and your hands started to go clammy.

"Tomorrow?" You repeated, voice trembling.

'Well, yeah." He pouted his lips, and you felt like melting into a small puddle in your place. Your heart started to pound heavily.

Oh my fucking god, he is so adorable.

"Okay, sure I can go with you tomorrow," You weakly smiled at him, slightly tense.

How we're you going to give him the letter now?

__

"Good Morning," Jake said as he watches you close the gates of your house. It was past five in the morning, and you were a mess.

"Morning," You replied back before running your fingers through your hair, getting rid of any flyaways.

As you started walking your way to the bus stop, Jake kept on glancing towards you from time to time. He knew you were pretty, but since when did you become really beautiful in his eyes?

The walk was pretty quiet, but it was a comfortable silence. For him, mostly.

Meanwhile, you couldn't stop freaking out. You had written a letter the night before, but you don't know how you were going to slip it into his locker without him taking notice. If he saw you, he would know.

"Are you sure you're okay? You've been like this since yesterday," Jake blurted. You looked at him before heaving a sigh.

"It's nothing," You mouthed, suddenly feeling anxious and gloomy.

"Something on your mind?"

"Something like that." It was hopeless. I guess he would have to miss this letter today. It was the first time you skipped a day, and you're feeling guilty that you would have to see Jake's face sadden that he wouldn't receive it today.

As you two stop at the bus stop, Jake looked slightly panicked as he was rummaging through the pockets of his blazer before looking through his bag. "Hey, do you have an extra pen? I left mine at home and I have a quiz today."

You snickered, "Out of all the days, Sim Jake. The same day you have a quiz is the same day you forget your pen."

"Very funny." He scoffed.

As you unzipped your bag to grab your pencil case, a folded piece of paper fell out without you realizing it. When Jake went to pick it up, he notices that it was folded the same way as the letters in his locker. It looked so identical.

Once you already got your pencil case out, you were about to hand it to him when you saw what he was holding that made your body freeze with your hand holding the case in the air.

"Why were one of my letters inside your bag?" He glanced at you, waiting for you to reply.

If you were freaking out before, this is a whole other thing. The thing that you were fearing the most is happening right before you.

"Maybe it fell into my bag yesterday..." You stammered, making up an excuse to look like it was an accident. You were tightly holding onto your pencil case, chanting many curse words in your head as you watch Jake unfold the letter.

"I don't think I've received this one yet," He said before he opened the letter and read it.

You watch as his expression formed into confusion as he reads through the paper. It only took a few moments before something in him clicked that it was you sending him the letters.

"Y/N," He began, and you started quivering in fear.

You should've known this would happen, but you didn't expect it to happen this sooner. In fact, you believed that this wouldn't happen at all. But it did.

"Let me explain," You eventually gave up and accepted fate and watch as your identity as "Moon" be revealed to your crush. You're now exposed so you didn't have any other choice but to explain everything. "Yes, I am Moon. I was the one writing you the letters that you've been getting in your locker."

Jake's face was unreadable. He looked bewildered and puzzled. He was trying to comprehend what was happening right now. All this time, it was you?

"I started crushing on you when we attended that birthday party before. I didn't want to confess my feelings for you because I was scared that you were going to harshly reject me, so I started writing down letters as a way to tell you how I feel about you without making you feel awkward around me." You continued, eyes suddenly taking an interest in your shoes. They were brand new too.

Jake was silent, and you felt your heart crack into pieces. You were mad at yourself for being so careless about it that he ended up finding out about you as his secret admirer. You wanted nothing else but to run back home, lock yourself in your room and cry with your sad playlist on loop.

You were expecting a harsh rejection coming from him, but what surprised was how he took dangerous steps towards you, minimizing the gap between you two. He placed his hand under your chin, forcing you to look up at him.

"I don't plan on rejecting you Y/N," You stare into his eyes as it reflects the sunlight of the early morning. "I'm actually happy that it was you."

You look at him, puzzled. He lowly chuckles under his breath before leaning over to place his lips against yours. It was a light, quick kiss, but it brought you feeling ecstatic. You've dreamed of this moment before, and now that it happened, you thanked your clumsiness.

As he pulled away, you were sure your face was a red mess.

"Thank you," His smile was as bright as the stars in the sky. It was the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. "Thank you for making me like I'm special to someone."

You felt flustered over his words. You were scared that he could hear the sound of your heart pounding loudly. The butterflies in your stomach were going wild, and you felt like this was all a dream.

"So, what am I to you now?" You broke into a smile as he grabs your hand, intertwining your fingers with his.

Jake acted as if he was thinking, "Hm..maybe my best friend still?"

He bursts into a fit of giggles as he sees your smile slowly disappear, replacing it with a look of disbelief. You removed your hand from his and walked at a faster pace away from him.

He ran to match your pace beside you before holding your hand again, "I'm sorry, I won't ever do that again. Is my girl mad at me?"

"Oh my god, it's only five-fifty, Jake." You too broke into laughter over his cheesiness, but your heart fluttered over the thought of Jake calling you his.

__

HERE’S A LITTLE BONUS! since I've made you guys wait for 4 months :(

"What the fuck?" Was the first thing You heard from Jay as you and Jake entered the classroom. All of your classmates were staring at your and his hands intertwined together.

Jay stood in front of you two, crossing his arms together. "Can one of you explain when this happened?" he motioned towards your linking hands. You and Jake smiled at each other before walking away, leaving Jay in a fit of joy, and confusion.